SUCH A HEART...

"...'I have heard the voice of the words of this people which they have spoken to you. They are right in all they have spoken. Oh that they would have such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all my commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!' "
Deuteronomy 5:28-29 (NKJV)

The more I read, and re-read, the Old Testament, the more I see how much like the children of Israel I can be. They acknowledged the awesomeness of God. They knew He was the only God. They said all the right things.
But in their hearts...
It hurts me when I find myself doing the same thing.
Recounting all the things I have head knowledge about regarding God, things I believe, but in my heart...
When I KNOW what the Bible has said about Him and me, but in my heart...
I can tell others what Scripture promises them, I mean us , but in my heart...
I can speak truth, but in my heart...
You will find past hurts and future fears.
Look closely and you will see worries, doubts and disappointments trying to speak up.
They are all saying something.
Speaking truth without actually speaking the Truth to my heart.
It is easy, I find, to be busting forth with boldness when things are good. When miracles are happening. To proclaim and believe with my whole heart the goodness and greatness of Christ.
But like the Israelites, when I become afraid, where does my heart turn?
When I don't get the answer I think I want, what happens to my heart?
Does it shatter and scar?
Become hard and hopeless?
Maybe seal off a piece of itself?
My flesh wants it to.
My enemy wants it to.
I, and you, have to be deliberate in those moments.
Deliberately choosing which way our hearts will go.
Not that we don't have broken hearts, but that we don't keep them that way.
Not the we don't feel hurt, but we don't stay that way.
We choose to deliberately deliver our hearts to Christ Jesus.
We lay them before our Father, pieces broken off by fear and hurt, and we let Him heal it.
We let Him restore it.
Trusting that He will.
Trusting that the brokenness He has allowed is for our good and believing, through that same shattered vessel, He will bring wholeness.

Holy Spirit, give us such a heart.

Lord, give us hearts like Yours. Hearts that trust You. Hearts that fear You in a healthy manner. Hearts that know You are for us and that You are working daily to complete the good work You have started in us, painful as it may seem at times. More than anything Jesus, give us hearts that love you above all else. As the song says, may we not raise our hearts to another. In Jesus Name, Amen.