FALTERING

Right now I am working through Lysa Terkeurst's Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl participant's guide sans video. My lesson a couple of weeks ago had me reading 1 Kings 18:20 -39.The story is about the showdown between the prophet Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. It is a familiar story to me. I have read many times. Yet, in doing so, I somehow missed this -

And Elijah came to all the people and said,"How long will you falter between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Ball, follow him." (vs. 21)

See that up there in the bold? It has been with me since I read it.
How long will I falter between two opinions? How long will I stumble going between the two? How long will I allow the going back and forth to weaken me in my purpose? How long have I been doing this? How long will I let it keep going on?
I find myself running between the opinion of man, which changes on a dime, and the opinion of God, which is eternal truth. I worry what people think at times. I have let people's opinion define me. I have been nice and turned my head at sin because the world says that is how a Christian should act instead of speaking the truth from a heart saturated with the love of Christ as God has told us to.
To give you a minor example, the other night in life group (or house church or small group or whatever your church calls it) our leader ended our time together by reading a story from The Voice of the Martyrs about children from the Sudan who were beaten for not renouncing Christ as the Lord. C...H...I...L...D...R...E...N. Then we were asked, if we wanted, to pray out loud for our group and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Sort of a round table time. I wanted to, I did, and I bawled like a baby through the whole thing. Tears freely flowing. Not a big scene mind you, but a steady stream of water running down my cheeks. We finished up, headed our separate ways, and it started. (Now let me tell you upfront we are new to this group and they don't know us very well and we don't know them.)
You are such a baby. They are going to think you don't have it together. They are all thinking you are just a big mess. You are an embarrassment to your husband. You made everyone uncomfortable. Do not EVER pray out loud again. You need to apologize to your leader and his wife.
That is how it goes, isn't it? I, mean, that was in the first 3 minutes after we got in the car to go home.
But while I was going back and forth in my mind, these thoughts came to me....
Do not apologize for your heart being broken for this. Your heart should be broken for this. Do not apologize for weeping while you pray for them.
Even now, I think to myself I sing the song lyrics that say break my heart for what breaks Yours and yet I felt the need to apologize when it happened? Because I was worried what my life group might think?
I could take on those words said by the enemy and could never speak again in the group. I could listen to what I think the opinion of man might be. Or I could keep pressing on seeking the opinion and truth of God, tears and all.
I don't know which two opinions you might be going between, but I do know this, you are faltering. You are stumbling. You are falling. Just like I am.
We need to choose today to stop it. We need to choose today to pick who we will serve. We need to choose Christ. We need to stop running back and forth, turn our faces toward Christ, set our feet to walking on the steady ground He provides and move forward!
With purpose.
Sure-footed.
Each step...
DELIBERATE.

Sweet Jesus, help us.

CONTENT WITH MY CROP

Matthew 13:3-8

(NKJV)

Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

I have told you before that we raised watermelons when I was a kid growing up in Arkansas. A 30 fold crop would have been nothing to sneeze at. We would have been happy with a 30 fold crop. Until we met the guy who had a 60 fold crop. Then we would have wanted more. Of course, the 60 fold guy would be happy until he met the 100 fold guy.

Now, good can come from wanting a bigger harvest. You can learn ways to improve your planting. You can learn ways to improve your watering and tending to your plants. You can learn ways to utilize what you have to work with to best of its potential.

Bad can come as well. The competitive drive can cause you to over work your land and your workers. You can damage the land for future crops in the drive for the one big crop.

The question that I had was am I as content with my 30 fold as I would be with 60 or 100? Am I satisfied to be the good ground that produces 30 fold? Is it enough? Or does the comparison to other's harvest get me? Does it cause me to stumble in my planting? In my laboring for the "number" instead of the harvest I was made for?

I think it is clear from this verse we are not all going to achieve the same harvest. But that doesn't make one better than the other. After all, it was all good ground. What I need to strive for, and ask Christ every single day to help me with, is making the most of my seed and the land I am to plant in. To work hard and diligently in the planting season I have. Nurture those seeds and then watch as the harvest is reaped.

And be content.

Because the crop He has given me is enough.

For Him.

And it's all for Him.

WARY OF THE IMMEDIATE

Matthew 13:3-8 (NKJV)

Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

Two things in this passage have my attention and my heart right now.

Today, I'll just hit on the first one.

Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away.

How many times a day do I wish for immediate results? Immediate financial security? Immediate health? Immediate weight loss? Immediate fame? Our culture is all about immediate. Immediate status updates on Facebook. Immediate tweets. Immediate news coverage. Even in churches we have a desire for the instantaneous. The desire for immediate recognition or leadership roles sound familiar? Immediate "feel good" message from the pulpit that boosts my flesh and not my soul? Immediate acceptance of whatever lifestyle we choose to bring in?

As women, do we ever want immediate friendships? Especially with the popular people?

What I think this says, and what most of us have found out, is that "immediate" doesn't usually last. Immediate doesn't have what it takes to stick around when things get difficult. Immediate without any depth isn't going to cut it.

Don't misunderstand- I believe God can do immediate whenever and however He desires. And I believe He has, does and will. But man...well, man's track record is not so good.

And by man I mean me.

I am challenged by this in my own life to be alert to immediate. I need to seek the Holy Spirit's guidance in not only looking for times I seek the immediate, but also for the times I actually get it. Because getting it is sometimes much more dangerous than seeking it.

So while I am guarding my heart against my own flesh, I can be encouraged. Why? Because those times when I am having to dig deep into my faith are growing my roots. Those situations which force me to bury my head in the Word of God are only solidifying me in that very Word. I am encouraged to grow my roots in the good times as well as the bad. The roots I am planting are going to be what sustains me. They are what will keep me fed by the Bread of Life and watered by His Words.

Deliberate.

In digging down deep.

In securing my roots on Christ Jesus.

Roots that are not easily pulled up.

By this world.

By man.

By circumstances.

Deliberate Lord. Let me be, Lord, let me be.