TO DIE FOR

For where there is a testament, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator.

Hebrews 9:16 (NKJV)

This is the spring board verse for where I am going.

Where there is a testimony, there must also be a death.

If I am going to have any sort of testimony in Christ Jesus,

there is going to have to be a death of sorts on my end.

To have a testimony, I will have to die to flesh.

I will have to die to addiction - of any kind (that means from drugs to chocolate, from hours spent gossiping to hours spent cleaning)

I will have to die to pride.

I will have to die to self.

Some of my dreams will die.

Many of the plans I had for my life may perish.

Even the plans I deemed good.

But the testament...

the testament left behind by Christ Jesus....

the testament HE died for so that I could even have a testimony....

is better than anything else.

The question is am I willing to let those things die for Him?

Or am I going to spend the next year of my life resurrecting them?

Over and over again....

So this week, as so many of us do, I am pondering these thoughts.

What do I not want to carry in to 2011 with me?

What do I not even what to carry in to tomorrow with me?

Perhaps even the next minute?

My testimony in Christ is one partly of death...

His, Jesus Christ, for my sins and my salvation.

To deliberately deliver me from sin and unto the Father.

To accept that testament is to die to myself.

My wants.

My needs.

My ideas.

My plans.

Same holds true for you.

Make no mistake.

We will have to choose.

We will have to be deliberate.

The life we gain, well, it is so worth letting those things, those issues, die for.

And this is the testimony:that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.

1 John 5:11 (NKJV)

OUTSIDE/INSIDE

I don't about you but at times I come across a sentence in the Bible that just hits me like a mack truck. I guess they all should, but some hit with more punch than others. Such was the case with 2 Corinthians 7:5.

For indeed, when we came to Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were troubled on every side. Outside were conflicts, inside were fears.


Those last six words echoed within my heart and head.


Outside were conflicts, inside were fears.

As a woman, can I say how many times those words have described my thoughts and resulting behaviors. The number of times I have made a complete fool of myself because of those exact words. How many times have I seen it in other women? Sure, probably in men too, but more in women.

Gals, you know it is true.

Oh, I pray I do this justice. There are some conflicts that need to happen. They need to be addressed. They need to be resolved. However, there are a great many conflicts that are self-inflicted because of fear. Conflicts with our spouses because we are afraid of something. Conflicts with women at church because we are afraid they are going to fill our roles. Conflicts with friend's new friends because we are afraid we are replaceable.

At church.

At work.
In family.
At the mall.
Honestly, I have had conflicts with women I hardly knew. Hardly talked to, but every time I was around them, I felt the conflict rise up within me, even if I never verbalized it. These types of conflicts can't be resolved. They are only the symptoms. Outside manifestations of inside fear.
What are we afraid of?
What am I afraid of?
That my husband will wake up one day and not love me? That my role "in the church" will diminish, and so will my value and importance? That my friend will decide I am no longer important? How rational are those fears?
The scary part is sometimes they are very rational. We all know stories of women whose husbands have just decided to up and leave. We have probably gone through a time when our role at church did diminish, and that is hard to let go of.
High school trained many of us to believe friendships are fickle.
We see it in the world. We see it in our churches. We live it, and we get scared. We are afraid.
Afraid of letting go.
Afraid of being let go.
I pray this is coming across like He wants it to.
Even now, Lord Jesus, prick our hearts, even now.
The only thing I know to battle fear is faith.
Faith in Jesus Christ.
Faith in God.
Faith that whatever happens, He is there.
Faith that He has a role in the church for me, and He alone determines that.
Faith that when I lay it all down before Him, my marriage, my church, my friendships, He willingly takes them and works them to His glory.
I don't know that insecurities ever go away.
They are all about doubt, and the enemy loves to pedal those wares.
What I do know is I have to be deliberate in how I deal with them.
I have to purposeful in recognizing the fears before they manifest into conflict.
In those times I miss it, I have to be determined to lay it before the Lord so He can show me what the cause was. Determined to deal with the fall out.
We are not here to be beat up.
We are not here to be living in constant conflict, driven by our fears.
We are here, now, deliberately, for the glory of God.
Our celebration of Jesus birth is a celebration of that deliberate deliverance.
Gals, we can't win this alone.
We need Jesus.
We need the Holy Spirit.
We need the Lord God Almighty.
With them, our version can read,

Outside was peace, inside was Jesus.

Let it be so, Lord God, let it be so.

THE ONE...

I am in Acts reading about Saul's conversion.
I got tickled at the disciples not trusting him,
with good reason I might add.
Then I got to thinking about how we do the same.
Someone who has been a holy terror comes to Jesus, and we are skeptics.
Someone who has hurt us comes and repents,
and we seek motive.
So many times we look for them to stumble.
May not be intentional on our part, but we do.
We hope for the best and expect the worst.
I am sure the disciples hoped Saul, now Paul, had changed,
but who could blame them for doubting.
The man had gone after them with a vengeance.
But one had hope.
One brought Paul to the others.
We have the One who is our hope.
We have the One who brings us to Himself.
See, we have been the holy terrors also.
We have hurt Him and come back with repentance.
He never looks for motives.
He never looks for stumbles.
He graciously loves us through them.
He doesn't excuse us.
He doesn't lie to us.
He doesn't sugar coat it.
What He does is loves us.
Deliberately.
Praying I do the same for others.

DOCTRINE IT'S NOT....

The following will not be supported by any commentary I am pretty sure.

Just how the verse struck me on a particular day.

Whoever falls on that stone will be broken; but whomever it falls, it will grind him to powder.

Luke 20:18 (NKJV)

The stone Christ is talking about is Himself. In the verse above He has quoted Psalm 188:22 back to the people.

I am not going there.

It hit me this way....

When I fall on Jesus, I will be broken.

My heart will be shattered for anyone else but Him.

My pride will be broken.

My life as I knew it will be broken.

My chains will be broken.

A million pieces I will become.

Pieces He will restore.

Pieces He will put back together.

Being broken because I fell upon Jesus is a good thing.

Maybe even a desired thing.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and contrite heart-These, O God, You will not despise.

Psalm 51:17 (NKJV)

The other option is when Christ falls on me.

Then I am crushed.

I am devastated.

I am ground into powder.

Christ will only let me live in my sin for so long.

Then He will put His foot down.

May not be until the end, but He will.

The enemy of our soul will be crushed.

Saul was crushed.

The rich young man was crushed.

The better choice is to throw myself on the Rock of Christ Jesus and be broken.

We, I, don't always make the better choice.

Sometimes we become so hard breaking won't work.

We can still have hope.

In Christ Jesus, we are not crushed. (2 Corinthians 4:8)

Saul becomes Paul.

In Christ Jesus, we can be put back together again.

Pieces or powder.

Our God can restore us.

So, if you are aware enough to make the choice, choose to be broken.

Deliberately.

If you weren't or aren't, and you find yourself crushed, do not despair.

Jesus is still there.

Let Him have the dust that remains from your life.

He can breathe life into it again. (Gen. 2:7).

He can deliver you.

Whole.

Complete.

New.

BITTER WEEPING ALLOWED...

If you have been around Christianity for pretty much any amount of time you have heard of Peter. Peter was so much like so many of us. Quick tempered, mouthy, flip-floppy, yet so desperately longing to be with Jesus. Before Christ was arrested, He told Peter that before the rooster crowed three times, Peter would deny Him.
Peter did.
Peter knew it as soon the rooster crowed.
Peter wept bitterly.
I think in my head I pictured Peter having a moment of clarity, realizing what he had done, and walking away to find solitude where he could cry.
Yesterday, I read the account in Luke and my picture changed.

But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!" Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him,"Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So Peter went out and wept bitterly.
Luke 22:60-62 (NKJV)

Peter was no dummy. He knew what he was doing the first time he denied Christ.
And the second.
Peter was scared.
Peter was unsure.
Peter was being sifted. (Luke 22:31).
Although I am not sure the sifting was in the denial, but the recovery from.
Imagine the hurt.
Imagine the failure.
Imagine looking into the face of Jesus right as you sin.
Knowing He loved you.
Knowing you hurt Him.
I am sure that Jesus looked on Peter with compassion, which I would bet only made things worse.
I, we, have, I hope, all had times when we knew immediately we had sinned.
Sometimes, I even get close to the fullness of how my sin hurt others.
Sometimes, I get how it hurts God.
But to have Jesus look at me.
To look back at Him.
It would break my heart.
As well it should.
I need to remember that.
My sin doesn't just hurt me or others walking around on this earth.
It hurts the very God who made us.
It breaks the heart of the very Christ who died to save me from it.
And the devil will remind you of that.
Can you imagine the torture Peter endured in his mind?
The thoughts.
The imagined implications.
I imagine he was pretty disgusted with himself.
I usually am when I realize what I have done.
I don't know if Peter remembered the other words Christ spoke to him.

And the Lord said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to the Me, strengthen your brethren."
Luke 22: 31-32 (NKJV)

Christ, knowing full well what was about to happen, encouraged Peter.
He loved Peter.
He prayed for Peter.
Not that Peter's faith in Peter would not fail, but Peter's faith in Him.
In His love.
In His forgiveness.
In His grace.
When you and I fail, when we sin, we should weep.
Bitterly.
But in our weeping, let us remember who our faith is in.
Not in ourselves, that we were right, or that we will get it right.
Our faith is in Christ Jesus.

"...Who is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

Let those tears wash away the dirt the enemy tries to pile upon you.
Allow those bitter tears to fall on your tongue as you open you mouth in confession and praise.
And watch the Lord make them sweet.

For I am the Lord who heals you.
Exodus 16:22-27 (NKJV)

Deliberately.

I SEE MYSELF....

in the Pharisee standing at the altar.
At least, I see who I used to be.
It wasn't intentional.
Pride snuck in while I was being good.
Doing the things I was supposed to do.
Knowing I had sin, but comparing it others.
Read the story again yesterday and I saw myself.
I am not sure it was that I even thought I was better,
just not as bad.
Saw myself in another story as well.
Priscilla Shirer shared in One in a Million that a rebellious sheep will have its leg broken by the shepherd.
Wounded, the sheep must now be carried by the shepherd.
Resting on the shepherd, the sheep learns his voice.
When healed, the sheep KNOWS its shepherd's voice.
The rebellion is gone.
I have had a broken leg.
I have been carried.
I know my shepherd's voice.
Reading that story made me think of the book of Ezekiel.
Time and time again the Lord says He is doing this or that so"they (or you) will know that I am the Lord."
We are going to know He is Lord.
We need to know He is the Lord.
We are delivered because He is Lord.

FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE....AND YOURS.

This is what I wrote over Jeremiah chapter 42 in my bible.
The full caption reads:

DO NOT GO BACK TO THE CAPTIVITY THAT I HAVE DELIVERED YOU FROM

You need to read the chapter for yourself. Here is what I am going to say. When things get hard, either as a consequence of your actions or just because, do not go back to the captivity Christ has delivered you from. Sometimes things get rough just in our head. A comment that hurts a little, even when nothing was intended by it. A nod of approval neglected. Sometimes things really are difficult. Either way, do not go back to the captivity He has delivered your from.

Not back to old habits.

Not back to old thought processes.

Not back to old self-loathing or pride.

Do not run back to old friends if He has removed them.

Do not go back to old lifestyles.

Do not run back to the "good" if it held you captive from the best God has.

Face the difficulties under the wing of the Lord Jesus Christ. He will protect you. He will cause you to survive. He will cause you to thrive. You go back, it will be worse than before. It will be the death of you.

He is the One who delivered you from Egypt, for His name's sake.

To go back is to belittle that name.

To belittle the name He has given you as well.

Redeemed.

Precious.

Adopted.

Child of the Living God.

It may not be easy. Probably won't. Fear will knock and, at times, try to beat down the doors of your heart and mind.

You stand firm.

You keep focused on Christ Jesus and do not look back.

If you are going to fall before anything or anyone, you bow that knee to the Lord Jesus Christ.

You hit your knees in praise and prayer, and you keep those feet facing forward, planted firmly on the ground He has placed you on.

Do not retreat.

Do not concede defeat.

Do not think that I am talking just to you.

It is written in my Bible for a reason:)

Deliberate.

Delivered.

May we be so, Lord Jesus, may we be so.

YES I STILL HAVE A BIBLE...

I know.

It has been over a month.

You have been asking yourself,

Does this girl even read her Bible anymore?

Yes I do.

Yes I have been.

I just finished up the Old Testament.

The people have returned.

The temple rebuilt.

The apathy renewed.

Just like us isn't it?

Things get turned around in the right direction.

We get lazy.

Maybe just me.

Stop being deliberate in my pursuit.

In my actions.

In my choices.

Now in the New Testament.

Reminding me of how deliberate our Christ was.

How deliberate He is.

How deliberate He will be.

He has, is and will deliver us.

He is deliberate about it.

He is deliberate toward you.

He is deliberate toward me.

With His grace.

With His love.

With His discipline.

God, our Father, knows exactly what He is doing.

Take peace in that knowledge.

You are deliberately delivered.

IS HIS NAME....

I know the last couple of posts have been challenging.

Could even be down right depressing and discouraging.

So I wanted to encourage you today

with the same verse I have been encouraging myself.

Their Redeemer is strong;

The Lord of hosts is His name.

Isaiah 50:34(a) NJKV

We are not in this alone.

We are not depending on our own strength.

Whatever you are going through,

get this good news in your head.

Our Redeemer is strong!

The Lord of hosts is His name!

Glory!

CRUSHED

...because I was crushed by their adulterous heart

which departed from Me,

and by their eyes

which play the harlot after their idols;...

Ezekiel 6:9 (NKJV)

I had to go back and re-read this verse a second time. The word that jumped out at me....crushed. God is talking to Ezekiel about the children of Israel. They have not had loyal hearts. I knew He was upset with them. I knew He was angry. Crushed though? I never think of God as being crushed. I have been crushed. It is a word I can relate to quickly. Heart-break in my youth, betrayal anytime. Crushed is a word many of us can relate to. Kinda feels like being kicked in the stomach. It is different than anger. More than being upset. It is deeper. To your very being.

I'll be honest, it is really hard for me to picture God crushed by anything. To picture my God broken. However, He clearly says in His word that He was (and is). The KJV (for my mama) says He was "broken with their whorish heart".

I always knew my sin disappointed God, but I think I pictured Him feeling similar to what I feel when the MC's disappoint me. I am upset, but not cut down deep. The idea that my "whorish heart" crushes Him, that puts a whole new weight on things. A mental and emotional image I can't seem to shake. I have seen parents who were crushed by the actions of their kids. I have seen spouses crushed by the infidelities of their significant others. I know what it looks like. I know what it feels like to an extent.

All this to say I now have a stronger desire to have a loyal heart. I want to be so very watchful for idols in my life, as small or large as they may be. I want to be sure I am loyal to Christ's calling above all else. If it means swallowing some pride, forgiving deep wounds, confessing secret sins, then fine. If it means stepping out of the comfort zone or speaking boldly into a relationship, fine.Whatever He calls me to, I desire even more for my heart to be loyal to Him alone.

Won't be easy.

Won't come naturally.

Won't feel good all the time.

But it will feel better than

the thought of causing God

to be crushed by my heart.

Deliberately Delivered.

My heart,

to God.

Loyal.

Faithful.

True.

Because

He was

deliberately

delivered

unto me

and to

you.

A LOYAL HEART

I just could not get it.

What was the difference between David, who messed up in a big way multiple times, and the other good kings, who were obliterated for doing one thing wrong?

What made David different?

Then I found my answer in 2 Chronicles 25:2,

And he did was right in the sight of the Lord, but not with a loyal heart. (NKJV)

This passage is speaking about Amaziah and his reign in Judah, but it spoke so loudly to me in response to my question.

When many of the good kings messed up, even if only once, they rejected the correction of the Lord.

They got angry and responded in rebellion.

When David was corrected, he humbled himself before the Lord.

He had a loyal heart.

We can do all the right things for all the wrong reasons.

To What is our heart loyal?

Looking good in front of others?

Convincing everyone, perhaps even ourselves, that we have it all together?

We can do them all for the right reasons.

Trying to please and honor the Lord.

It is easy to do right when it carries little consequences or inconvenience.

What about when we need to do right after we have done wrong?

When the Lord chastens us,

which we pray He does as it is a sign of His love for us,

how do we respond?

To What or Whom do we find our hearts loyal?

Our flesh or our God?

Like David, we are going to blow it.

We are going to mess it up at some point in time.

The test of our heart can come when we are corrected by the Lord.

Are we loyal to our flesh and demand we have done nothing wrong?

Are we loyal to Christ Jesus and repent then and there?

A work in progress, yes we are.

In that progress, let us (and believe me I mean ME in a big way) be deliberate in turning our hearts toward the Lord.

Let us deliberately raise up within ourselves loyal hearts to Christ Jesus.

He is deliberately loyal to us.

HOGWASH...

is what it is. Before I ever start, let me warn you now I have a burr under my saddle. A big one. It has hit a nerve and I am fired up. That was your disclaimer.

Complete and utter hogwash. There is a trend moving within the church body (at least in this nation) that ticks me off like nobody's business on one hand and scares the fire out of me on the other. The belief that the Bible is not the complete Word of God. The argument that the Old Testament stories are just that...stories. Used by writers to invoke emotion about a deity, but with no real validity.
Adam and Eve just a parable.
Jonah impossible.
Jericho - no way.
It is a movement that has crossed into main stream denominational churches and seminaries alike, and it is wrong. Someone help us when we have pastors with their very fancy doctorates and seminary papers telling us from the pulpit that they do not believe that Bible is the absolute Word of God.
Excuse me?
When we have megachurches and minichurches alike full of people listening to men and women who argue the Old Testament is figurative more then literal.
Are you kidding me?

Let me tell you something right now, if you can't believe the "in the beginning" then you have nothing to cling to in the end.

I can not even wrap my head around how someone could believe in God raising Christ Jesus from the dead (which is a, if not the, chief tenant of Christianity) and yet finds it impossible for the very same God to put a man inside a whale. Or knock down a wall. Or make a aged woman have a baby.
Which is harder?

What is even worse is we are buying it. Hook. Line. Sinker.
Which is exactly what we are doing.
Sinking.
Into our collective pews. We open our mouths and we believe everything that man or woman behind the pulpit says. We read our scriptures from the screen. We listen without ever checking the scriptures out for ourselves. We take no notes. We ask no questions. We give away ownership of our faith piece by piece, little by little. Don't get me wrong. I don't believe for one second that we are to sit in our pews and challenge every word our pastors or bible teachers say. There will be issues that we do disagree with them on. Do they all merit beating down his or her door Monday morning? Most likely not. However, there are some that should be deal breakers for us. The validity of the Bible better be the first.

Here is the deal. God is either a liar or He is not. (He is not, Titus 1:2; Num. 23:19).

He can not lie in the Old Testament and then be truthful in the New. It is either all true, or it is all a lie. No in-between. You can not pick and choose the parts you want to believe in. It either happened as God said it did, or it didn't. Now I know the arguments. Well, the bible was written by man....there are so many different translations....we did not really know what all the words really meant. There is legalism out there that says I must keep the Jewish laws of the Old Testament. There are those who will say I am in the wrong writing this because I have usurped my role within the body and spoken out of turn according to the New Testament. Most likely the word hypocrite will come to mind, if not to the comments. Which is fine. Absolutely fine. Why? Because my faith does not depend on what the comments section says.

Here is what I know. Here is what I have lived. When it comes down to it. When the rubber meets the road. When I am in my darkest of darks, the Word of God is the ONLY light that can defeat it. It comes down to me and that Bible. It is those words that are my sword. It is those words that speak to my soul and encourage me. Those writings that have even allowed me to know how to be saved, actual salvation, and to share that with others, and if I don't have confidence in it, all of it, I am done for. Finished. My pastor can not help and my favorite bible teacher is useless in those times. No feel good message is going to cut it. I need to know the word, believe the word, and act upon the word.

I beseech you brothers and sisters in Christ, please, please, do not think for one second that the Bible is just a story book. Please do not diminish the sacrifice that Jesus made for us (whether you accept it or not) by saying it is only to invoke emotion. Use discernment. Study. Research. Learn.
Above all BELIEVE. Have faith in the God who wrote it. Exercise faith in the Christ who died for it. Stand up and stop sinking.

O Timothy! Guard what was committed to your trust, avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge- by professing it some have strayed concerning the faith. Grace be with you. Amen.
1 Timothy 6:20-21 (NKJV)

MERE WORDS OR MORE....

The devil is a trash talker.
In case you had not gotten that one yet.
Especially when we are already afraid or anxious.
Oh - he is a fine master of words.
He knows how to play with the truth just enough to make us believe his lies.
He loves to make us doubt.
How he loves that!
Because doubt breeds fear, which will snuff out faith if we let it.
While reading about Sennacherib this morning, I could not help but think how his words could have come from the inner chamber of the enemy's strategy meetings.

..."Thus says the great king of Assyria: "What confidence is this in which you trust? You speak of having plans and power for war; but they are mere words. And in whom do you trust, that you rebel against me?"
2 Kings 18:19-20 (NKJV)

The devil probably could not have said it better himself.
We speak of the weapons of our warfare.
We make plans for battle, but sometimes lack in the follow through.
We know we have the power of the Holy Spirit with us, yet we don't call upon it.
We think we can do this alone.
We trust in our own strength.
We boast in our own confidence.
In doing so, we fail.
When we speak out of our own strength they are but mere words.
He is right- how can we rebel against him alone?
We can't.
The good news is we don't have to.
We were never expected to.

"By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us, O God of our salvation, You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth, and of the far-off seas; who established the mountains by His strength, being clothed with power; You who still the noise of the seas, the noise of their waves, and the tumult of the peoples."
Psalm 65:5-7 (NKJV)

The enemy is going to try to beat you and I up with his words. He will remind us of times we have failed. He will remind us of times we thought God failed. Times when things did not turn out like we had hoped or prayed.
When those whispers start to tickle you ears, silence them with truth. Not with mere words, but the Word of the God Almighty. The Word of Christ Jesus. He is your confidence. He is your strength. He is your power.
May we not only be diligent in planning for battle,
may we be deliberate in the follow through.
May we purposefully and intentionally submit ourselves to the Lord God in all our battles.
May we walk confidently in the armour of God, not because of us, but because of Him.
May we silence the lies of the enemy when he asks,
"And in whom do you trust, that you rebel against me?",
by responding with two words,
Jesus Christ.
Our deliberate deliverer.

HAND-CRAFTED SIN

So these nations feared the Lord,

yet served their carved images;

also their children and their children's children

have continued doing as their fathers did,

even to this day.

2 Kings 18:41 (NKJV)

You can fear the Lord and still serve your own gods.

That is my handwritten side note beside verse 33 of the same chapter, which states the same thing.

I, Rhonda, can fear the Lord, and still, mistakenly, serve my own gods.

Maybe not little statues, but little issues, you bet.

Money.

Accolades.

Security.

Love.

Anything that I try to put above the Lord God and Jesus Christ will become a god to me.

A god that I myself have created. It tells us the people were serving "their carved images". Someone had to carve them. Isaiah says something very similar.

For in that day every man should throw away his idols of silver and his idols of gold - sin, which your own hands have made for yourselves.

Isaiah 31:7 (NKJV)

Sin that I have made for myself. It might have started out innocently enough.

A man wanting to provide for his family.

A mom wanting her kids to be well behaved.

Just wanting to shed those few pounds.

Writing something and wanting people to think it was good. Insightful.

An employee wanting to make his or her boss proud.

All good things, but the moment they move up the ladder to the top and surpass my relationship with Jesus Christ, they have become gods.

Am I sacrificing my family to make money?

Am I enabling my kids instead of training them up?

Am I obsessed about my weight? Letting it define me instead of resting in who I am in Christ Jesus?

Do I seek the approval of man above the approval of God?

All easy traps to fall into. For me it is usually a slow fall.

Gradual.

A little compromise here, a little give there.

A second look in the mirror followed by a run down of all the things I don't like.

Bribing my kids to behave in front of company, all the time.

Checking my profile status to see how many people have visited.

Sin that I myself have crafted.

If that was not bad enough, sin that can be passed down for generations (note the plural).

If I am obsessed with my body, don't you think for a second my men children won't be with theirs.

If my husband works at the expense of these boys, he is marking the path they will be likely to follow, and pay dearly for.

Diligence is what is required of me.

Listening for the Voice that says this the way to walk.

Heeding the Holy Spirit's nudges.

Keeping my heart and mind grounded in the word of God.

Because I, and you, have been delivered from all of that.

Deliberately.

"NO" MEN

We all have a desire to surround ourselves with people who encourage us, and rightly so. We need people who will lift us up. However, we must be aware of the pit of excess. We see it all the time. People become famous and are surrounded by an entourage of "yes" men. People come into places of leadership, and the "yes" men abound. Doesn't just happen in Hollywood. Happens right here in our own backyards. Successful coaches hung the moon, charismatic preachers can do no wrong, politically prominent men and women wield power unfathomable.

It can happen to any of us. Should we find ourselves in that situation we would be wise to make sure we get a healthy dose of "no" men as well. We need only to look at the story of Ahab, king of Israel, to see how deep the pit can be.

And Jehoshaphat said,

"Is there not still a prophet of the Lord here, that we may inquire of Him?"

So the king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat,

"There is still one man, Micaiah, the son of Imlah, by whom we may inquire of the Lord;

but I hate him, because he does not prophesy good concerning me, but evil."

And Jehoshaphat said,"Let the king not say such things!"

1 Kings 18:7-8

(NKJV)

The two kings were considering going to war together. Now keep in mind Ahab was an evil king who had turned from the ways of the Lord. His desire to go to war was motivated by pride and gain alone. Jehoshaphat had requested that they inquire of the Lord, so Ahab called together hundreds of prophets (his personal "yes" men). They all agreed....go to war... the victory is yours... you are the best... you can do anything... the world is your oyster... so on and so on. Yet even in hearing this, Jehoshaphat knew something wasn't quite right. Then there was that one guy...

Our "yes" men need to balanced with the truth of God's word. Which means, at times, they need to be "no" men. Any one of us, left to our own devices, and given a bit of fame, fortune or power, can find ourselves heading head first into a deep pit of pride and self-absorption. Doing what we want, when we want, how we want, regardless of what God wants. Truth be told, I can find myself doing that now (without the fame, fortune or power).

We need to be watchful that we, ourselves, don't become another person's "yes" man. "No" men won't always be popular. We won't always like them,or be liked if we are one, but if they are acting in the love of Christ when they say no, we will treasure them.

Take a look around your circle of friends today. Are you surrounded by "yes" men? Have you gone the other, just as damaging direction, and surrounded yourself with "no" men? Do you have a balance of the two?

Godly correction and discipline will be just as profitable as godly encouragement if we let it. Let us be deliberate in surrounding ourselves with both.

IF I ONLY HAD...

I have recently started So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. The chapter I read yesterday made mention of some"false positives" we carry around with us. You know them. They are the one thing or one area where we believe if we could just get that (or get it right) we would be secure and set in everything else. Must admit I have a couple of those.
At the same time I am reading about Solomon. The man had it all. Money, fame, favor of the Lord, adoration of his kingdom and other kingdoms. The dude was set. Yet it was not enough to keep him focused on God. He still turned from the God who had personally visited him twice.
He still turned to other gods.
My " false positives" are just like the gods Solomon chased. They can no more bring me security than, well, anything. It does not matter how much I have or don't have, the only security I can count on, that I can cling to, is found in Jesus Christ. What my false positives can do is turn my eyes from the God who loves me. They can make me blind to all the things I do have, all the things the Lord has been gracious to me with.
As I was reflecting after reading today I just kept picturing myself going back to Jesus daily saying " My security is in You". Not just about money, a job, or material things but in relationships as well. When I see someone at work promoted and I wonder why not me. When I see someone serving in the ministry in a manner I want to or would like to at least try. When I see someone with friendships like I want. Whatever it is, my security has to rest in Christ and in Christ alone. I have to trust that He has a plan, knows the plan, will execute the plan and that it is a good plan. That is what will make me secure.
For me, I will have to be purposeful about it.
I will have to choose each day.
I may even have to be audible in it.
Repeatedly.
I will have to, daily, be deliberate in my choice to be secure in and with Him.
After all, He was and is deliberate in delivering me.

THE TEMPLE

I have been reading about the temple Solomon built for the Lord. The great detail with which everything was made. The great detail that is recorded in the book of 1 Kings and in 2 Chronicles. How every little thing was planned for and designed by God. Even the smallest thing. I often wonder why God had the specifics recorded with such great accuracy. Why do I need to know how many cubits the vestibule was or how each cart was made?
I think one of the reasons why is that we don't forget we serve the God of details, even the smallest ones. Yes He sees the big picture, but that doesn't overshadow the details. He is all about the details.
1 Corinthians 3:16 reminds us that we are the temple of the Spirit of God. Just as God planned for and designed the very details of Solomon's temple, He has planned for and designed the details of you. From that freckle that you hate to those dimples you love, He has cared for them all. He sees the big picture He has for us physically, mentally , emotionally and spiritually, but don't think for a second He has left the details for you to work out. He hasn't. He is on top of each and everyone of them. Are we co-laborers in building our temple? You bet, just as Solomon was with his temple. But we are not left to sort out the details on our own. He has the specifics. He has a plan.
A plan that is for your good.
Because you and I were deliberately delivered.
And that is a detail we must not overlook.
Be blessed dear ones.

MULTITUDE OF ANXIETIES

I have battled anxiety for a few years now. Early on it was pretty bad. Now, it is just every once in a while, and I can usually tell when it is coming on. I know the cues for what sets it off. There are a couple of things that are sure fired triggers. I also know what reigns it in- for me it is scripture. I have a spiral set of "go to" index cards when I feel it building up. It is actually my second set because I gave the first one away:)
One of things I hate about anxiety is the feeling of being out of control. I can't control what is going on around me, so my mind and my body try to physically go out of control as well. I hate the shaky, nervous feeling anxiety brings with it. I also hate feeling like I am the only one. I know I am not, but when it hits, I kinda feel isolated.
In my quiet time the other day, I found this verse-
In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul.
Psalm 94:19
Now I have researched anxiety in my Strong's Concordance and managed to miss this verse.
I can not tell you how it comforted me to know the psalmist not only had one area of anxiety, but a multitude. Can I get a witness? Anxieties that he takes ownership of. They are not God's anxieties.
God brings a multitude of comforts.
For each and every anxiety I have, He has an answer.
That does delight my soul!

PLACE

Hubs and I were having an *ahem* discussion about "place", mostly mine, and operating within it. More specifically, defining it's boundaries.
You know...

It's not your place to say

You spoke out of place

What place is it of yours to tell me blah blah blah


So here is the question for you (and oh how I hope you answer) :


What is our place?


I talked about calling out blatant, unrepentant sin the other day.
That is all our place in my opinion.
But what about things that are just tweeks? Things we see others doing that are damaging to the body that they may not even recognize are hurting anyone.
That woman or young girl at church whose skirt is repeatedly just a little too short or shirt just a little to sheer.
The young man who repeatedly is demonstrative in his play for girls or in his attempt to exercise his dominance over other guys.
That teenager who is popping off at their parents in front of everyone.
The mom who loses it on her kids A LOT.
What about people you know well who are acting out of emotion and the result is hurting others?
What about that group of women or men who went out for a night and things got a bit, just a bit, carried away?
That wife who belittles her husband at bible study. Or on the phone?
The husband who bad mouths his wife in front of others.
Where is your place to speak to those issues?
Is relationship the determining factor?
Does it matter how well you know them?
Or do you have a place as a woman and man of God to address it regardless of how well you know them?
So we don't spend time arguing over this point, yes the how matters.
Absolutely.
In truth and in LOVE.
You don't do it with either of these you are acting out side the bounds of your place.
So lets pretend we are all mature enough we can do address the issue with both of those.
Where is the line that you are not allowed to cross?
I would love to hear from you minister wives, as I am sure you have had your fair share in dealing with this.
Looking forward to the insight!

A YEAR IN THE LIFE OF....

You.
Me.
Them.
Us.
If you could look back over your life, your life exactly one year from today, what would you see?
Who would be standing there 365 days ago?
How is that person different today?
What struggles have you faced?
What victories have you had?
What new seasons of life have you embraced and which have you moved out of?
I can tell you the girl typing this is not the same as she was 365 days ago.
She was broken over the past year in ways she never dreamed of.
The places that have healed have made her stronger.
There are still places that are mending.
Decisions were made that she never saw coming.
She has many joys.
She has regrets.
She wishes she would have more quickly acted like Christ and not given so much time to the enemy.
She has a heart for the poor that was not there before.
Well, it was in theory.
Now it burns within her.
She has a heart that longs for integrity.
A heart that has been forced to trust.
She has been humbled.
She has exercised forgiveness.
She is aware of her resentments and not just justifying them.
She is more purposeful in her life.
She is making the choices instead of just letting them happen.
She is still afraid at times.
Days she would still like to run in a cave and hide.
But they are fewer.
Prayers for justification have been changed to prayers of mercy and grace.
Prayers for truth.
Prayers for integrity.
She still messes up, she still sins.
She has learned to repent quicker.
She has learned to obey sooner.
She still battles pride and self-seeking, but she recognizes it sooner.
She lays it down before Him.
So how about you?
What would be your testimony of the past year?
Are you different?
Better or worse?
Have you come to know Jesus more?
Do you even know Him at all?
Please share with us.
Your testimony matters.

"And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death."
Revelation 12:11 (NKJV)

FOR OUR NATION

Psalm 2

Why do the nations rage,

and the people plot a vain thing?

The kings of the earth set themselves,

and the rulers take counsel together,

against the Lord and against His anointed,

saying, "Let us break Their bonds in pieces

and cast away Their cords from us."

He who sits in the heavens shall laugh;

The Lord shall hold them in derision.

Then He shall speak to them in His wrath,

and distress them in his deep displeasure:

"Yet I have set My King

on My holy hill of Zion."

"I will declare the decree:

the Lord has said to Me,

'You are My Son,

today I have begotten You.

Ask of Me, and I will give You

the nations for Your inheritance,

and the ends of the earth for Your possession.

You shall break them with a rod of iron;

You shall dash them to pieces like a potter's vessel.' "

Now, therefore, be wise, O kings;

Be instructed, you judges of the earth.

Serve the Lord with fear,

and rejoice with trembling.

Kiss the Son, lest He be angry,

and you perish in the way,

when his wrath is kindled but a little.

Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him.

GOOD NEWS IN ACTION

Psalm 106...you can read it here.
Over and over they messed up.
They failed.
They rebelled.
They ignored.
They turned away.
They suffered consequences.
Then verse 44 happens.

Nevertheless He regarded their iniquity when He heard there cry.
And for their sake He remembered His covenant,
and relented according to the multitude of His mercies.
Psalm 106:44-45 NKJV

The good news...regardless of how you and I have messed it up,
He hasn't.
In no way shape or form has He
failed,
rebelled,
ignored,
or turned away.
He is here today for you and for me.
Confess.
Repent.
Come to Christ.
He came for you.

THE GOOD NEWS

The Gospel is the good news. We are to share the good news to this world. Here is my question - can there be good news if there is no bad news first? Don't people have to know the bad news before they can fully appreciate the good news?
I recently watched an interview on a syndicated talk show. The discussion was between a pastor, a former pastor, and a recording artist. What disturbed me the most was not their topic of discussion, but the idea that we, as Christians, are being judgemental and defying our faith when we call sin out as sin. If that is the case then every pastor in every church who is preaching the Good News should step down now. Because without the acknowledgement of sin, there is no good news. Yes, I know it is not my job to run around checking everyone's life, every little detail, and going "Yep that is sin....yep, that one too." It's not. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. It is however, my responsibility and our responsibility as the body of Christ, when obvious and/or blatant sin is apparent, to call it out for what it is. Do we do so condemning the person to hell? Without repentance and the acceptance of Christ, they were already condemned just as every other non-believer, including myself, was before they knew and accepted Christ. Do they need to know the bad news that they will go to hell without the acceptance of Christ? Most definitely yes. The darkness and despair of the bad news is immense and we fail as Christians if we leave people there. The depths of that despair sets them up for the glory of the good news, that Christ has already died for those sins and they can be set free. Without the acknowledgement of the bad news, the good news is simply a nice story.
We all mess it up. All of us. However, that can not be used as an excuse by us or against us to not call sin what it is. If being a sinner yourself somehow made you unqualified to speak into others lives, and I mean speaking in a manner that was both encouraging and challenging and at times confrontational, then Paul would have had nothing to write about. Peter - nothing to say. John - not a word. James; the writer of Hebrews; every one of them should have put down pen and paper. But that is not the case.
We are doing the body of Christ great harm when we are no longer willing to call sin out. When we no longer make the distinction between the ways and laws of God and the ways and laws of man. When everything becomes acceptable, salvation becomes relative. Salvation is not relative. It is absolute. Jesus Christ was, is and will always be absolute truth. It is in that truth that we are set free from the power of sin. It is by that truth we are able to overcome that sin. But we must first acknowledge it as such, and at times we need someone else to point out what we can not see right in front of our faces.
It is not easy - to be the one receiving the correction or the one giving it. Especially if you want to do it right. It takes a great deal of maturity. A great deal of wisdom. A great deal of prayer. Most importantly, a great deal of love.
But to not do it - the damage could be eternal.

Brethren, if any among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.
James 5: 19-20
NKJV

AT FIRST GLANCE...

These were the heads of their father's houses: Epher, Ishi, Eliel, Azriel, Jeremiah, Hodaviah, and Jahdiel. They were mighty men of valor, famous men, and heads of their fathers' houses.
1 Chronicles 5:24


Sounds like a great group of guys doesn't it?
Men of valor.
Brave and courageous men.
Famous men.
Every person in the tribe knew about them.
Street recognition most definitely.
Heads of their fathers' houses.
The men in charge.
The men other men came to for advice and guidance.
The authority of that house.
The men with the power.

Who wouldn't want to be them?

And they were unfaithful to the God of their fathers, and played the harlot after the gods of the peoples of the land, whom God had destroyed before them.

1 Chronicles 5:25


I don't want to be them.
Their unfaithfulness led to captivity.
Not just for them but for their entire tribe.
When I find myself desiring the riches of this world (even within the church)- fame, position, money- whatever- this verse serves as a reminder as to what the main thing is. When I find myself looking at others, thinking how great they are or their life is, I need to remember that what I see is a first glance. I need to make sure I look deeper to see where their faithfulness lies. Not to judge them, but to be aware for myself in order to avoid becoming a captive with them. I need to, by the help of the Holy Spirit, strive to make sure that when people take a second look at me and my life, they see faithfulness as well, because I don't want to be responsible for leading them into captivity either.

NOTHING

Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.
Not the most wonderful thing that I could even imagine happening to me.
Not all my dreams and desires coming to fruition.
Not the thing I fear the most.
Not the thing I am even afraid to speak.
Nothing compares to the promise I have You.
No high point in my life is more glorious than Your promise.
No low point in my life can destroy that promise.
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.
No worries I have are greater than Your promise.
No plan of the enemy is greater than Your promise.
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

That we should be saved from our enemies

and from the hand of all who hate us,

to perform the mercy promised to our fathers,

and to remember His holy covenant,

the oath which he swore to our father Abraham:

to grant us that we,

being delivered from the hand of our enemies,

might serve Him without fear,

in holiness and righteousness

before Him all the days of our life.

Luke 1:71-75 (NKJV)

DOUBLE DOSE

I don't know how many of you read both blogs.
Well, besides my sisters and Q.
I was not for sure where to put this one, so you get it on both.
DO YOU REALLY?
Maybe totally just for me.
But knowing Him, I doubt it;)
Completely unrelated, can I just say that Judges finishes with a bang!
I have no doubt if they ever made an Old Testament movie straight from the text, an "R" rating would be an understatement. W...O...W.

I CAN'T CHOOSE...

for you. I can only choose for me.
I just finished up the book of Joshua today.
Joshua gives his final speech and tells them to choose for themselves.
He knew what he was going to choose.
The tribes, the children, the kiddos, had to choose for themselves.
That is so hard.
It must have been hard for him.
To recant all that God has delivered them from.
To remind them how they were brought out of the "house of bondage", and how every good thing the Lord had spoken over them came to pass.
Then to say, okay, you choose for yourself.
But we all come to that point, don't we?
Either as the one choosing or the one allowing someone else to choose.
Just like the children of Israel, there will come a day when we (and our kids and family) will have to choose for ourselves whom we will serve.
A day when we have to make our faith our own. When that relationship with Christ goes from the head knowledge we received from others to the heart knowledge we have gained on our own.
One day we will have to choose to pick a side of the fence and quit trying to live on foot in the kingdom and one foot in the world.
Don't think for one second by not choosing you aren't choosing.
By not choosing Christ, you are choosing death. Plain and simple.
Sadly, not all of our loved ones will choose Christ.
Not just family, but friends we care deeply about.
I can't choose for them.
I can choose to pray for them. I can choose to continue bring them before the throne of grace and intercede for them, but I can't make that choice for them.
Even for my own boys, there will be a day when they must choose for themselves.
In college I had a dream one night that I knew I had to choose.
(Note I am not one prone to dreams and visions so when I have one that I have remembered for 20+ years it is a big deal)
In my dream I was lost in a world torn up physically. The road I was on was cracked and buckled. It was dark. It appears I was under some kind of tram track. I was calling out for my mom and she was no where to be found. I never saw His face in the dream, just the glory of His robe and a cross. His sweet voice said " I am going to put you at the foot of my cross". I knew. I was on my own. My mom could not do it for me anymore. It is me and it is Him. We are the ones who have to finally work this thing out.
There have been times over the past 20 years where that dream has been recalled to me. Troubles have happened that have sent me to the foot of that cross.
It has been my choice to kneel or not.
No other could choose for me.
Like the children of Israel there have been times of rebellion.
Times of forgetfulness.
Times that led to bondage.
The good news is that there have also been times of redemption.
Times of rescue and restoration.
I can't choose for you and you can't choose for me.
But this one thing I know...
We Are All Chosen.

Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by man, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. Therefore it is also contained in Scripture, "Behold, I lay in Zion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious, and he who believes on Him shall by no means be put to shame."

1 Peter 2:4-6 (NKJV)

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

"and so it may not happen, when he hears the words of this curse, that he blesses himself in his heart, saying, 'I shall have peace, even though I will follow the dictates of my heart' - as though a drunkard could be included with the sober."
Deuteronomy 29:21 NKJV


First this is not a post about alcohol.
Not even going to touch on it.
It is going to be about our hearts.
Well, mine, anyway.

I shall have peace, even though I will follow the dictates of my heart.

According to my notes, that phrase "follow the dictates" can be translated to mean "walk in the stubbornness or imagination".
All I have to do is think back to high school or junior high (or perhaps last week) to think of a time when I followed the stubbornness or imaginations of my own heart.
I just know he is the boy for me.
I just know we are going to get married and live happily ever after.
It didn't matter what sound advice others gave me, in my heart, I envisioned a glorious romance culminating in a Cinderella wedding and happily ever after. Oddly enough, I envisioned this with more than one Prince Charming. Seems my heart was a bit of a "playa". You want to talk about stubbornness of heart...
nope I am going to try to hold onto this person or relationship or job because I know in my heart of hearts I need to....I need them.
My heart kept telling me to do this or that and many times it backfired. Peace it did not bring. Many times I made an idol out of something or someone because "my heart" told me so.
Here is a little fact about my heart.

It is "deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" (Jer. 17:9 NKJV)

My heart is fickle. When it feels loved, it loves back. When it is hurt, it pulls away. It guards itself viciously. It holds itself in high regard. It is self-seeking. It can be easily influenced. It can be pulled in many directions at the same time.
I think there is a reason Christ told us to love God with not only all out hearts but also our minds and our souls (Matt 22:37 NKJV). Our hearts will turn when we feel God has let us down. It is our minds that will speak the truth, our minds that will recall scripture to defend against the enemy. Our souls that know rock solid who we are in Christ and Who He is in us.
Yes, my heart has great capacity to love, but it can also have great capacity to hate. The other two keep it in check. Without the other two being lined up with God, my heart is on a self-destructive path, taking the rest of me down with it. I need all three (heart, mind and soul) working together serving the Lord.
Do I ever listen to my heart? Sure I do. However, I have to take what it says and compare it to what the Word of God says and what I know about God to be true. At times, I may have to take what it said and seek godly council.
Sometimes it is right on.
Sometimes it is broken as I allow the Holy Spirit to bring it in line with God.
I can't trust my heart.
I can trust the One who gave it to me.

FIGHT TO SUBMIT

I have talked about my observations about my self- discipline on both blogs. The thing about self- discipline is that it covers so many areas of my life. SO MANY. It has been made clear to me during this time at home that this one stronghold is affecting so much in my life. In my mind, self-discipline meant getting it perfect everyday, all day, all the time. Always making the right food choice, always making the right financial choice, always making the right spiritual choice. A constant battle to be, well, perfect for God. If I should make a mistake, then just chunk the whole thing out the window because I failed.
2 Timothy 1:7 is a foundational verse for me. It is often my go-to verse. My choice of weaponry against the evil one. But honestly, I mainly use it when anxiety and vain imaginations try to take over. Not so much when I am tempted to make a poor financial choice, or tempted to be unwise in my food choices, or lax in my exercise or bible study. I, you, have been given the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. Not just a stable mind, but a self controlled, self-disciplined mind. According to Galatians 5:22, self-control is a fruit of the very Holy Spirit that dwells in me and in you if you know the Lord Jesus as your Savior. This morning I was meditating on this as I started my day. This constant struggle within myself to get it right. To be a strict self-disciplinarian. As I was doing so , I felt the Holy Spirit say (synopsis),
"You are fighting against and fighting to get something that is a gift. I have given it to you. Just receive it. Stop striving to get it, to earn it, to do it. Just let me do it for you."
I know rocket science right. Stuff I already knew. In the heat of battle though, sometimes, I tend to forget what I already know and just start fighting. Anyone and everyone.
The thing I felt this morning was stop fighting to get it right and start fighting to submit. I know... I know. We Christians should do that already, and in many areas we already do. But tell me I am not the only one who has a few areas she keeps fighting in. If I am, well, yeah for me for the Lord making progress on me.
Self- discipline is a gift, a fruit. Yes it has to be nurtured. It has to fed the Word of God and watered with the Living Water, but it will grow. It will take time to grow, much like fruit. Can't plant a watermelon seed on day and have watermelons to eat the next. But in due season it will produce and we will reap.
It is not a fight to align my flesh up with what God desires.
It is a submission of that flesh to the Lord God Most High and allowing Him to align it.
Do I play an pivotal role? Absolutely.
It is my choice to submit.
It is my choice to heed the nudging of the Spirit.
It is my choice to educate myself so I can make wiser choices.
They are all my choices.
I know, Rhonda is growing up.
Aren't we all so proud.
She is getting some maturity on her.
I told my sister the other day I was getting upset at myself thinking when will I ever have this Christian walk down.
Truth is - I won't.
I won't ever on this planet walk perfectly, do it all right, never stumble or fall.
I will, however, walk stronger.
I will get up faster when I fall.
I will walk this out with the One who deliberately walks with me.
(you guys just get to come along for the show...woohoo for you!)