FIGHT TO SUBMIT

I have talked about my observations about my self- discipline on both blogs. The thing about self- discipline is that it covers so many areas of my life. SO MANY. It has been made clear to me during this time at home that this one stronghold is affecting so much in my life. In my mind, self-discipline meant getting it perfect everyday, all day, all the time. Always making the right food choice, always making the right financial choice, always making the right spiritual choice. A constant battle to be, well, perfect for God. If I should make a mistake, then just chunk the whole thing out the window because I failed.
2 Timothy 1:7 is a foundational verse for me. It is often my go-to verse. My choice of weaponry against the evil one. But honestly, I mainly use it when anxiety and vain imaginations try to take over. Not so much when I am tempted to make a poor financial choice, or tempted to be unwise in my food choices, or lax in my exercise or bible study. I, you, have been given the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. Not just a stable mind, but a self controlled, self-disciplined mind. According to Galatians 5:22, self-control is a fruit of the very Holy Spirit that dwells in me and in you if you know the Lord Jesus as your Savior. This morning I was meditating on this as I started my day. This constant struggle within myself to get it right. To be a strict self-disciplinarian. As I was doing so , I felt the Holy Spirit say (synopsis),
"You are fighting against and fighting to get something that is a gift. I have given it to you. Just receive it. Stop striving to get it, to earn it, to do it. Just let me do it for you."
I know rocket science right. Stuff I already knew. In the heat of battle though, sometimes, I tend to forget what I already know and just start fighting. Anyone and everyone.
The thing I felt this morning was stop fighting to get it right and start fighting to submit. I know... I know. We Christians should do that already, and in many areas we already do. But tell me I am not the only one who has a few areas she keeps fighting in. If I am, well, yeah for me for the Lord making progress on me.
Self- discipline is a gift, a fruit. Yes it has to be nurtured. It has to fed the Word of God and watered with the Living Water, but it will grow. It will take time to grow, much like fruit. Can't plant a watermelon seed on day and have watermelons to eat the next. But in due season it will produce and we will reap.
It is not a fight to align my flesh up with what God desires.
It is a submission of that flesh to the Lord God Most High and allowing Him to align it.
Do I play an pivotal role? Absolutely.
It is my choice to submit.
It is my choice to heed the nudging of the Spirit.
It is my choice to educate myself so I can make wiser choices.
They are all my choices.
I know, Rhonda is growing up.
Aren't we all so proud.
She is getting some maturity on her.
I told my sister the other day I was getting upset at myself thinking when will I ever have this Christian walk down.
Truth is - I won't.
I won't ever on this planet walk perfectly, do it all right, never stumble or fall.
I will, however, walk stronger.
I will get up faster when I fall.
I will walk this out with the One who deliberately walks with me.
(you guys just get to come along for the show...woohoo for you!)

MONEY TALKS

"So it shall be when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant- when you have eaten and are full- then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. "

Deuteronomy 6:10-12 (NKJV)

I talked about my anxiety over re- entering the work force in some form or fashion back here. Lots of reasons why, but they seem to hinge on one factor - money. I'll be honest - money makes me lazy. As someone who is not a fan of cooking, money sure makes it nice to grab something to go. Meal planning? Why when I can fly by the seat of my pants and just pick up random ingredients from the store. Money makes me not value my "stuff" at times. Why should I because if it breaks I can just go get a new one. Money provides gas in my vehicle that allows me to run around town and go where I want, as many times as I want.
Over the past 7 months, the money has been removed. The Lord has provided, but the surplus has been gone. Come to find out... the problem wasn't with the money but with how I thought about and dealt with the money.
Self-discipline has been a key thing over the last few months, and I have had to work on it out of necessity. I have had to plan meals. I have had to plan my trips to town. I have had to make sure things last. It has been an eye opening experience.
What I don't want to do is exactly what the Israelites did. When my tummy is full and my house is full of good things, I don't want to forget the One who brought us here. I don't want to go back to the selfish way I was handling the provision He gave us. I don't want to be a poor steward again of the resources He provides.
I know myself.
I know how quickly I fall back into old thought patterns.
I know how I tend to forget when things are good.
But I know Him, too.
I know how He has used this time to rewire my head.
I know His Holy Spirit dwells within me and is a reminder of things taught.
He is a faithful teacher.
He is a loving teacher.
He is a good teacher.

Best of all, I know He has it all in His hands.
Going back to work or staying home, shortfall or surplus, He has it all.

KEEP WALKING

"Look, the Lord your God has set the land before you;

go up and possess it,

as the Lord God of your fathers has spoken to you;

do not fear or be discouraged."

Deuteronomy 1:21 NKJV

We all have a "promised land" that the Lord has prepared for us. Some of us know what it is. Some of us don't have a stinking clue. The good thing is He does. He has set it before us. He has provided a path for us and lights the way (Psalm 119:105). We do not need to fear because it is good. We do not have to walk in darkness toward it. If it is taking a while, don't get discouraged. It may be the God is removing the unbelief that keeps you from walking in the full freedom your "promised land" offers. Your light may be very dim, get in the Word, and it will grow stronger. You may be taking tiny steps. Keep walking. Your steps will get stronger. He is the Lord your God. He is for you. He wants you there more than you do. He has gone before you and prepared, not just a place, but the place for you.

ALL THE WAY OUT

Numbers 33:55-56

"But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you , then it shall be that those whom you let remain shall be irritants in your eyes and thorn in your sides, and they shall harass you in the land where you dwell. Moreover it shall be that I will do to you as I thought to do to them."

If you read the chapter you will find the Lord giving instructions to the nation of Israel as to how they are to conquer Canaan and claim their promised land. He is very clear - everyone has to go. Nothing left. Any remnant of it will only cause you harm.
The same is true for us. We have things blocking our path to our figurative promised lands, where we dwell in freedom with God and He dwells freely amongst us. Some things we have brought upon ourselves. Some others put upon us. Either way, the Lord can remove them. Either way, He is most likely to call for our cooperation. He will tells us what we need to remove ; we have to obey. There are times when sweets are a stumbling block for me. I can not even have them in the house - at all- they have to be totally removed. You may say well how does that impact you and God. Oh, it does believe me. Because when I go to them for comfort instead of Him, I have just set up a false god. Others are more serious. A group of "friends" you used to hang out with. A causal drink you used to have that turned into an addiction. That relationship with the opposite sex that is teetering on the edge of adultery or fornication. The show that occupies your time, or computer game, or social media. If the Lord has called you to remove those, remove them. No, you can not run around with them every once and a while and it do no harm. No, you can not have just one drink or one hit or one blow and think you can defeat the enemy. No, you can not see them "socially" and think you are safe from that pit. They have to be removed from your life and from your thoughts. Because if you don't, the destruction that comes to them will come to you as well. The death that those things bring, physical, spiritual or relational, will be yours. They have to go.
The good news - God is just as eager for you to get them out of your life as you are. More so. No child of Israel wanted in the promised land more than God wanted them in. Not a one. Same holds true for today. The same God who fought on behalf of Israel fights on behalf of you and me. All (as hard it is) we have to do is obey His battle plans. His plans that have already ensured victory. His plans that lead to the "promised land" He has for you and for me.

* I am going to add some thing here as I have mulled over this today. It does not always have to be a bad thing the Lord tells us needs to go. It can be a very good thing. A committee in church or the community. A volunteer job. Whatever. If the Lord tells you to remove it, do it. No "I'll just help with this one project". None of that. Because even good can block the best He has for you.

ESTABLISH THE WORK

"And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,

And establish the work of our hands for us;

Yes, establish the work of our hands."

Psalm 90:17 (NKJV)

I have things I know I am called to do. For my family. For the Kingdom of God. I also have things I think I am called to and desire to do. My concern is that what I desire to do may not be what God desires for me to do. The thought that it is not hurts a little. Because I so desperately want to. I love doing it.
This prayer of Moses will become part of the prayer of Rhonda. I know God has good works for me to do based on Ephesians 2. I desire for God to establish that in me. That the work of my hands be for His glory and not mine. That my hands would do the work that has been prepared, and that they would be firm in doing so.
What work of your hands has God established for you?

WHERE'S THE BEEF?

I know I had said we would talk about 2 Peter, but I am not there. It is not where me heart is right now. I don't want to force it. I don't want my writing about it to be contrived. Right now my heart is in Numbers 11. I encourage you to read it on your own, but I will give you the run down on the part that is so speaking to me.
The meat.
Israelites are out of Egypt, complaining against God because they have no meat.
Oh we should have stayed in Egypt...
Oh why did you bring us out here to die...
Oh if we only had meat our lives would be perfect (my interpretation)...
So the Lord says fine. You want meat - you got it. So much so that it is coming out your nostrils and you will despise it! And so it was.
This passage challenges me, and I hope you, to look at yourself. I had to ask myself what have I been complaining about? What do I think I need so desperately? Money? Girlfriends? Fame? What is it? Am I dangerously close to God giving it to me in such abundance that I despise it? Many of us can testify that the very thing we thought would make our lives perfect was the very thing that brought us down and made our lives worse.
Oh that I had more dates when I was single...
Oh that I had more popularity...
Oh that we had more money...
How many stories have you read of lottery winners whose lives were ruined by the money? How many stars would desire to be able to walk into a coffee shop and not be mobbed by fans or paparazzi? How many, men and women alike, have gone through so many members of the opposite sex they connect with no one? Just one night after the other. Sure it all sounds great and fun at first. I mean who doesn't want a little more money, a little more popularity and notoriety. I know there were and are times I do. But for me, those are desires of the flesh. If you read on you will find that the people who complained the most died and they called the place Kibroth Hattaavah, or Graves of Craving. Let me tell you when I saw that ...Graves of Craving... it hit home. I really don't know if I can put into words how it impacted me and has stuck with me. Whether I crave attention or cheesecake, those cravings can lead to death if they replace the one True God I should be craving. That is a term that will stick with me. Am I setting myself up for a grave of craving? Am I digging it myself?
I also saw a fine line between beseeching and complaining. We are perfectly within our rights as children of God to ask for things, and He is perfectly within His to deny or grant. The line is crossed when we don't accept that answer and our hearts turn away, even a little bit. He has to be enough, meat or no meat. Dates or no dates. Money or no money. Fame or obscurity. The kids of Israel, they did not accept the answer. Their hearts turned from grateful children to whiny brats. I have been a whiny brat myself. I understand.
So how about you? Any thoughts? Anything you want to share that you thought would make all things better and it ended up making all things worse? Any grave of craving you fell into?
Trust me those three words will be in my mind for a while. I hope they will yours too.

LAST THOUGHTS

Just some final quotes from A Call to Grace by David Nasser.

"Grace never replaces God's standard, it fulfills God's requirement and enables God's standard to be lived out through our lives."

"Grace without truth can lead to liberalism. Truth without grace can lead to legalism."

"Grace is not safe, but it is always good."

"We have all to often confused grace with passivity, avoidance, or indifference. Grace is neither passive, avoiding of confrontation, nor indifferent. Grace is what it is. It is holy and truthful. Truth gives us convictions and the courage to confront, while grace allows us to speak these convictions with consideration and tact."

"As Christians, although we must lovingly live among people we don't agree with, this is not an excuse to compromise our own convictions (John 17:15-17)."

"He (Christ) never compromised the standard, yet He never acted in a spirit of condemnation."

Good words for this age in which we live.