FALTERING

Right now I am working through Lysa Terkeurst's Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl participant's guide sans video. My lesson a couple of weeks ago had me reading 1 Kings 18:20 -39.The story is about the showdown between the prophet Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. It is a familiar story to me. I have read many times. Yet, in doing so, I somehow missed this -

And Elijah came to all the people and said,"How long will you falter between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Ball, follow him." (vs. 21)

See that up there in the bold? It has been with me since I read it.
How long will I falter between two opinions? How long will I stumble going between the two? How long will I allow the going back and forth to weaken me in my purpose? How long have I been doing this? How long will I let it keep going on?
I find myself running between the opinion of man, which changes on a dime, and the opinion of God, which is eternal truth. I worry what people think at times. I have let people's opinion define me. I have been nice and turned my head at sin because the world says that is how a Christian should act instead of speaking the truth from a heart saturated with the love of Christ as God has told us to.
To give you a minor example, the other night in life group (or house church or small group or whatever your church calls it) our leader ended our time together by reading a story from The Voice of the Martyrs about children from the Sudan who were beaten for not renouncing Christ as the Lord. C...H...I...L...D...R...E...N. Then we were asked, if we wanted, to pray out loud for our group and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Sort of a round table time. I wanted to, I did, and I bawled like a baby through the whole thing. Tears freely flowing. Not a big scene mind you, but a steady stream of water running down my cheeks. We finished up, headed our separate ways, and it started. (Now let me tell you upfront we are new to this group and they don't know us very well and we don't know them.)
You are such a baby. They are going to think you don't have it together. They are all thinking you are just a big mess. You are an embarrassment to your husband. You made everyone uncomfortable. Do not EVER pray out loud again. You need to apologize to your leader and his wife.
That is how it goes, isn't it? I, mean, that was in the first 3 minutes after we got in the car to go home.
But while I was going back and forth in my mind, these thoughts came to me....
Do not apologize for your heart being broken for this. Your heart should be broken for this. Do not apologize for weeping while you pray for them.
Even now, I think to myself I sing the song lyrics that say break my heart for what breaks Yours and yet I felt the need to apologize when it happened? Because I was worried what my life group might think?
I could take on those words said by the enemy and could never speak again in the group. I could listen to what I think the opinion of man might be. Or I could keep pressing on seeking the opinion and truth of God, tears and all.
I don't know which two opinions you might be going between, but I do know this, you are faltering. You are stumbling. You are falling. Just like I am.
We need to choose today to stop it. We need to choose today to pick who we will serve. We need to choose Christ. We need to stop running back and forth, turn our faces toward Christ, set our feet to walking on the steady ground He provides and move forward!
With purpose.
Sure-footed.
Each step...
DELIBERATE.

Sweet Jesus, help us.

CONTENT WITH MY CROP

Matthew 13:3-8

(NKJV)

Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

I have told you before that we raised watermelons when I was a kid growing up in Arkansas. A 30 fold crop would have been nothing to sneeze at. We would have been happy with a 30 fold crop. Until we met the guy who had a 60 fold crop. Then we would have wanted more. Of course, the 60 fold guy would be happy until he met the 100 fold guy.

Now, good can come from wanting a bigger harvest. You can learn ways to improve your planting. You can learn ways to improve your watering and tending to your plants. You can learn ways to utilize what you have to work with to best of its potential.

Bad can come as well. The competitive drive can cause you to over work your land and your workers. You can damage the land for future crops in the drive for the one big crop.

The question that I had was am I as content with my 30 fold as I would be with 60 or 100? Am I satisfied to be the good ground that produces 30 fold? Is it enough? Or does the comparison to other's harvest get me? Does it cause me to stumble in my planting? In my laboring for the "number" instead of the harvest I was made for?

I think it is clear from this verse we are not all going to achieve the same harvest. But that doesn't make one better than the other. After all, it was all good ground. What I need to strive for, and ask Christ every single day to help me with, is making the most of my seed and the land I am to plant in. To work hard and diligently in the planting season I have. Nurture those seeds and then watch as the harvest is reaped.

And be content.

Because the crop He has given me is enough.

For Him.

And it's all for Him.

WARY OF THE IMMEDIATE

Matthew 13:3-8 (NKJV)

Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

Two things in this passage have my attention and my heart right now.

Today, I'll just hit on the first one.

Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away.

How many times a day do I wish for immediate results? Immediate financial security? Immediate health? Immediate weight loss? Immediate fame? Our culture is all about immediate. Immediate status updates on Facebook. Immediate tweets. Immediate news coverage. Even in churches we have a desire for the instantaneous. The desire for immediate recognition or leadership roles sound familiar? Immediate "feel good" message from the pulpit that boosts my flesh and not my soul? Immediate acceptance of whatever lifestyle we choose to bring in?

As women, do we ever want immediate friendships? Especially with the popular people?

What I think this says, and what most of us have found out, is that "immediate" doesn't usually last. Immediate doesn't have what it takes to stick around when things get difficult. Immediate without any depth isn't going to cut it.

Don't misunderstand- I believe God can do immediate whenever and however He desires. And I believe He has, does and will. But man...well, man's track record is not so good.

And by man I mean me.

I am challenged by this in my own life to be alert to immediate. I need to seek the Holy Spirit's guidance in not only looking for times I seek the immediate, but also for the times I actually get it. Because getting it is sometimes much more dangerous than seeking it.

So while I am guarding my heart against my own flesh, I can be encouraged. Why? Because those times when I am having to dig deep into my faith are growing my roots. Those situations which force me to bury my head in the Word of God are only solidifying me in that very Word. I am encouraged to grow my roots in the good times as well as the bad. The roots I am planting are going to be what sustains me. They are what will keep me fed by the Bread of Life and watered by His Words.

Deliberate.

In digging down deep.

In securing my roots on Christ Jesus.

Roots that are not easily pulled up.

By this world.

By man.

By circumstances.

Deliberate Lord. Let me be, Lord, let me be.

REJECTING WHAT I KNOW...

My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.

Because you have rejected knowledge;

I also will reject you from being priest for Me;

Hosea 4:6a (NKJV)

WARNING! WARNING! Complete Rhonda thinking things out post ahead...Enter at your own risk.

Heard it a million times. Destroyed for a lack of knowledge. Cure, or preventative measures, for that....get knowledge of God. Get knowledge of Christ.

Rejecting knowledge though? I am thinking that is a different ball game. It is one thing for me to just not know. It is completely different when I know and I don't do. I reject the knowledge He has given me. Reject. As in my way is better than Yours Lord, and I am just not going to __________ like You told me to. You fill in your own blank.

Yep. That is a whole new deal right there.The question is how many times have I done just that? More than I care to count. More recent than I want to recall. Do I still have some things I am pretending I didn't hear Him about?

And when I do that, He rejects me from being priest. Not that I am rejected. That won't happen. But the ability for Him to use me to minister to others, that gets shutdown maybe? My ability to serve Him fully in impaired.

A lack of knowledge is not often deliberate. A continued lack could be. A rejection of knowledge is a choice I make. A deliberate choice.

The good thing about choice is when you have chosen wrong, the next chance you get you can choose right.

I can choose to not reject the knowledge Christ has provided.

I can choose to submit to that knowledge.

I can be deliberate about making my decisions based upon that and not my own knowledge.

I don't think it will be easy.

I am willing to bet it will come up soon.

I can guarantee that it will go against everything my flesh wants to do.

So I must be deliberate.

In order to be deliberately delivered.

MY PASTOR DONE GONE AND DONE IT NOW...

The young whippersnapper we call Pastor Todd said something last Sunday that, well, I just didn't like. Not one bit. Not to take it out of context, or argue prosperity, he basically said that for some of us, financially this is a good as it is going to get. Some of us may very well be called to live by faith our entire lives. (FYI, you can listen to the sermon to get the full picture).

I can't say I disagree with him, but I can't say I liked his answer right then.

I thought on it all day Sunday and pretty much everyday this week. The questions that kept coming back to my spirit were:

What if he is right?

Will that be enough?

Will I be satisfied?

All questions that go right along with my memory verse for the past two weeks,

Proverbs 27:7

A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.

What am I finding my satisfaction in? Is it food? If I am satisfied in Christ, then I won't need that brownie or third piece of pizza to "fill' me. If not? Then I go on one of those rampages where I want to eat everything, no matter how bitter it is. What about the other way? What if my satisfaction is in how small that scale number says? Am I willing to do anything, no matter how bitter, to get there? And what about that money? Is my satisfaction in having just a little bit more and am I willing to do the next thing to make more? Always looking for that next big opportunity. Or am I satisfied with what I have and commit to using it to the glory of God?

I didn't like what he said because it hurt. It did. It stung a bit. It caused me to look at my own heart and it wasn't pretty. I do tend to want more. I don't like having to worry about money. But there in lies the sin...the worry. When I give that area completely to Christ, the worry goes away. Sure it doesn't go away quietly, but it has to submit to Christ when placed before Him. When placed before Him.

For any area you want to apply this verse to, and I think I can safely say that is pretty much all of them, my satisfaction has to be in Christ. Satisfaction that comes from being confident in who He is, who I am in Him, submitting my all to Him and obeying. Following through with what He has called His followers , of which I do profess to be, to do.

Easy to do? Not always. It is a choice to say it is enough....food, money, fame, status....

It is a deliberate choice.

In that choice, though, comes a deliverance you will never get from any number on a scale or in a bank account.

And that is pretty sweet.

The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

The judgements of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold,

Yea, than much fine gold;

Sweeter also that the honey and the honeycomb.

Moreover by them your servant is warned,

And in keeping them is great reward.

Psalm 19:9-11 (NKJV)

BATTLE READY...

"These are the nations the Lord left to test all those Israelites who had not experienced any wars in Canaan (He did this only to teach warfare to the decedents of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience)...And they were left, that He might test Israel by them, to know whether they would obey the commandments of the Lord, which He had commanded their fathers by the hand of Moses."

Judges 3:1-2,4 (NIV)

I have spent days trying to think of what to say with these verses. What clever opening can I use? What examples can I share from my own life? How can I relate it to you in a blog?

What I came to realize this morning was the fact I can't say it any better than the Word does.

So I will give you my two cents:

1. Some stuff, or people, are left in your life to prepare you for warfare. Not with them, but with our real enemy.

2. You are not going to get through this walk with Christ without engaging in spiritual warfare. If you have so far, maybe time for a gut check.

3. Some battles, as much as we hate to think of them as so, are tests. Tests to see if we will stick with the plan.Tests to see if you and I will stay faithful to Christ Jesus when things get hard or scary.

I guess here is my point. Look at your life today. Whatever you are battling may just be a strategic skirmish to help prepare you for warfare. It is beneficial. It is purposeful. Yep, it may be difficult, but most battles are. Stay in there. Stand your ground. Wield your sword. (Ephesians 6)

He is deliberate in preparing you. Be deliberate in letting Him.

He trains my hands for battle, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. Psalm 18:34 (NASB)

THE LEVITE PRIEST

Judges 17-18 has an interesting story about a young Levite priest. Here are some thoughts of mine after reading it and the corresponding footnotes.
1. He wasn't where he was supposed to be.

The Levites had designated areas, and he was out of them. How often have I found myself in trouble while being out of my designated area? Times when I have literally been places I was not supposed to be. I am sure I am not the only one. Spiritually, as well. When I try to take over a role that is not mine. In my marriage. In my church body. In my relationships with others. I have designated boundaries in my life. Boundaries I don't cross because I am a wife. Lines I operate within because I am a mom. Boundaries I respect because I am a Christian. The word boundaries sounds so restricted, but it is really not. Those lines are laid out for not only my good, but for the good of the body of Christ, and as with everything else, laid out to bring glory to God. Within those lines I am free to act, free to live, free to serve and love.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. (HCSB, Psalm 16:6)

2. He settled for man's security.

He was wandering. He was just looking for anywhere to stay. Anywhere he could feel secure. Can we relate? How often do we just look for that place in which we feel secure? Security is a good thing, and you should feel safe in your life. The problem is when we settle for that security from man and not from God. When we elevate our need for earthly security above God's call on and in our lives. We are not called to wander aimlessly in this life looking for things that make us feel secure. Not relationships, and how many times have we done that, not churches, not jobs. I may love my job, but I cannot put my trust in that above my trust in Christ Jesus. I love my husband and family, but my security cannot be tied up into one man and two little men children. My church or your church may be the best church ever! It can not replace the security I have in Jesus. My security is to be tied up in One...Christ Jesus ... God our Father. Settling for anything else is compromising the very security I am looking for.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (NIV, Hebrews 6:19)

3. His let his ego rule him.

They promised him status. How much better to be over many than just one? So the priest's heart was glad...(Jud. 18:20). Listen, I think promotion is a great thing, when it is a God thing. When we do our jobs like we are supposed to, promotion will often follow. He did not get promoted. Keeping in mind he had already taken two huge steps away from God, he simply took the next one. When you and I step away from where we are to be, when we settle for security of man, our flesh gets a whole lot more vocal, and we end up listening. I end up listening. When that happens, my ego starts making decisions and that is never good. Never.

I can't tell you I would not have been tempted to do exactly what he did when they offered him "more". More people. More money. More influence. More status. I know my weaknesses too well.

I know my flesh too well. The good news, I am not my flesh's. It does not own me. It is a dead man walking.

And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Galatians 5:24 (NKJV)

However, I must stay diligent in my walk with Jesus Christ. I have to tune myself to listen for His voice over the loud shouts of my dying flesh. I have to do it from the start.

Deliberate.

In seeing what my true motivations are.

Deliberate.

In making sure I stay as close to Him as I can.

Deliberate.

In laying it all before the Lord.

Deliberate.

In trusting Him above all else.

He will deliver.