BITTER WEEPING ALLOWED...

If you have been around Christianity for pretty much any amount of time you have heard of Peter. Peter was so much like so many of us. Quick tempered, mouthy, flip-floppy, yet so desperately longing to be with Jesus. Before Christ was arrested, He told Peter that before the rooster crowed three times, Peter would deny Him.
Peter did.
Peter knew it as soon the rooster crowed.
Peter wept bitterly.
I think in my head I pictured Peter having a moment of clarity, realizing what he had done, and walking away to find solitude where he could cry.
Yesterday, I read the account in Luke and my picture changed.

But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!" Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him,"Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So Peter went out and wept bitterly.
Luke 22:60-62 (NKJV)

Peter was no dummy. He knew what he was doing the first time he denied Christ.
And the second.
Peter was scared.
Peter was unsure.
Peter was being sifted. (Luke 22:31).
Although I am not sure the sifting was in the denial, but the recovery from.
Imagine the hurt.
Imagine the failure.
Imagine looking into the face of Jesus right as you sin.
Knowing He loved you.
Knowing you hurt Him.
I am sure that Jesus looked on Peter with compassion, which I would bet only made things worse.
I, we, have, I hope, all had times when we knew immediately we had sinned.
Sometimes, I even get close to the fullness of how my sin hurt others.
Sometimes, I get how it hurts God.
But to have Jesus look at me.
To look back at Him.
It would break my heart.
As well it should.
I need to remember that.
My sin doesn't just hurt me or others walking around on this earth.
It hurts the very God who made us.
It breaks the heart of the very Christ who died to save me from it.
And the devil will remind you of that.
Can you imagine the torture Peter endured in his mind?
The thoughts.
The imagined implications.
I imagine he was pretty disgusted with himself.
I usually am when I realize what I have done.
I don't know if Peter remembered the other words Christ spoke to him.

And the Lord said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to the Me, strengthen your brethren."
Luke 22: 31-32 (NKJV)

Christ, knowing full well what was about to happen, encouraged Peter.
He loved Peter.
He prayed for Peter.
Not that Peter's faith in Peter would not fail, but Peter's faith in Him.
In His love.
In His forgiveness.
In His grace.
When you and I fail, when we sin, we should weep.
Bitterly.
But in our weeping, let us remember who our faith is in.
Not in ourselves, that we were right, or that we will get it right.
Our faith is in Christ Jesus.

"...Who is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

Let those tears wash away the dirt the enemy tries to pile upon you.
Allow those bitter tears to fall on your tongue as you open you mouth in confession and praise.
And watch the Lord make them sweet.

For I am the Lord who heals you.
Exodus 16:22-27 (NKJV)

Deliberately.