FIGHT TO SUBMIT

I have talked about my observations about my self- discipline on both blogs. The thing about self- discipline is that it covers so many areas of my life. SO MANY. It has been made clear to me during this time at home that this one stronghold is affecting so much in my life. In my mind, self-discipline meant getting it perfect everyday, all day, all the time. Always making the right food choice, always making the right financial choice, always making the right spiritual choice. A constant battle to be, well, perfect for God. If I should make a mistake, then just chunk the whole thing out the window because I failed.
2 Timothy 1:7 is a foundational verse for me. It is often my go-to verse. My choice of weaponry against the evil one. But honestly, I mainly use it when anxiety and vain imaginations try to take over. Not so much when I am tempted to make a poor financial choice, or tempted to be unwise in my food choices, or lax in my exercise or bible study. I, you, have been given the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. Not just a stable mind, but a self controlled, self-disciplined mind. According to Galatians 5:22, self-control is a fruit of the very Holy Spirit that dwells in me and in you if you know the Lord Jesus as your Savior. This morning I was meditating on this as I started my day. This constant struggle within myself to get it right. To be a strict self-disciplinarian. As I was doing so , I felt the Holy Spirit say (synopsis),
"You are fighting against and fighting to get something that is a gift. I have given it to you. Just receive it. Stop striving to get it, to earn it, to do it. Just let me do it for you."
I know rocket science right. Stuff I already knew. In the heat of battle though, sometimes, I tend to forget what I already know and just start fighting. Anyone and everyone.
The thing I felt this morning was stop fighting to get it right and start fighting to submit. I know... I know. We Christians should do that already, and in many areas we already do. But tell me I am not the only one who has a few areas she keeps fighting in. If I am, well, yeah for me for the Lord making progress on me.
Self- discipline is a gift, a fruit. Yes it has to be nurtured. It has to fed the Word of God and watered with the Living Water, but it will grow. It will take time to grow, much like fruit. Can't plant a watermelon seed on day and have watermelons to eat the next. But in due season it will produce and we will reap.
It is not a fight to align my flesh up with what God desires.
It is a submission of that flesh to the Lord God Most High and allowing Him to align it.
Do I play an pivotal role? Absolutely.
It is my choice to submit.
It is my choice to heed the nudging of the Spirit.
It is my choice to educate myself so I can make wiser choices.
They are all my choices.
I know, Rhonda is growing up.
Aren't we all so proud.
She is getting some maturity on her.
I told my sister the other day I was getting upset at myself thinking when will I ever have this Christian walk down.
Truth is - I won't.
I won't ever on this planet walk perfectly, do it all right, never stumble or fall.
I will, however, walk stronger.
I will get up faster when I fall.
I will walk this out with the One who deliberately walks with me.
(you guys just get to come along for the show...woohoo for you!)