CRUSHED

...because I was crushed by their adulterous heart

which departed from Me,

and by their eyes

which play the harlot after their idols;...

Ezekiel 6:9 (NKJV)

I had to go back and re-read this verse a second time. The word that jumped out at me....crushed. God is talking to Ezekiel about the children of Israel. They have not had loyal hearts. I knew He was upset with them. I knew He was angry. Crushed though? I never think of God as being crushed. I have been crushed. It is a word I can relate to quickly. Heart-break in my youth, betrayal anytime. Crushed is a word many of us can relate to. Kinda feels like being kicked in the stomach. It is different than anger. More than being upset. It is deeper. To your very being.

I'll be honest, it is really hard for me to picture God crushed by anything. To picture my God broken. However, He clearly says in His word that He was (and is). The KJV (for my mama) says He was "broken with their whorish heart".

I always knew my sin disappointed God, but I think I pictured Him feeling similar to what I feel when the MC's disappoint me. I am upset, but not cut down deep. The idea that my "whorish heart" crushes Him, that puts a whole new weight on things. A mental and emotional image I can't seem to shake. I have seen parents who were crushed by the actions of their kids. I have seen spouses crushed by the infidelities of their significant others. I know what it looks like. I know what it feels like to an extent.

All this to say I now have a stronger desire to have a loyal heart. I want to be so very watchful for idols in my life, as small or large as they may be. I want to be sure I am loyal to Christ's calling above all else. If it means swallowing some pride, forgiving deep wounds, confessing secret sins, then fine. If it means stepping out of the comfort zone or speaking boldly into a relationship, fine.Whatever He calls me to, I desire even more for my heart to be loyal to Him alone.

Won't be easy.

Won't come naturally.

Won't feel good all the time.

But it will feel better than

the thought of causing God

to be crushed by my heart.

Deliberately Delivered.

My heart,

to God.

Loyal.

Faithful.

True.

Because

He was

deliberately

delivered

unto me

and to

you.