"So it shall be when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant- when you have eaten and are full- then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. "
Deuteronomy 6:10-12 (NKJV)
I talked about my anxiety over re- entering the work force in some form or fashion back here. Lots of reasons why, but they seem to hinge on one factor - money. I'll be honest - money makes me lazy. As someone who is not a fan of cooking, money sure makes it nice to grab something to go. Meal planning? Why when I can fly by the seat of my pants and just pick up random ingredients from the store. Money makes me not value my "stuff" at times. Why should I because if it breaks I can just go get a new one. Money provides gas in my vehicle that allows me to run around town and go where I want, as many times as I want.
Over the past 7 months, the money has been removed. The Lord has provided, but the surplus has been gone. Come to find out... the problem wasn't with the money but with how I thought about and dealt with the money.
Self-discipline has been a key thing over the last few months, and I have had to work on it out of necessity. I have had to plan meals. I have had to plan my trips to town. I have had to make sure things last. It has been an eye opening experience.
What I don't want to do is exactly what the Israelites did. When my tummy is full and my house is full of good things, I don't want to forget the One who brought us here. I don't want to go back to the selfish way I was handling the provision He gave us. I don't want to be a poor steward again of the resources He provides.
I know myself.
I know how quickly I fall back into old thought patterns.
I know how I tend to forget when things are good.
But I know Him, too.
I know how He has used this time to rewire my head.
I know His Holy Spirit dwells within me and is a reminder of things taught.
He is a faithful teacher.
He is a loving teacher.
He is a good teacher.
Best of all, I know He has it all in His hands.
Going back to work or staying home, shortfall or surplus, He has it all.
