AT FIRST GLANCE...

These were the heads of their father's houses: Epher, Ishi, Eliel, Azriel, Jeremiah, Hodaviah, and Jahdiel. They were mighty men of valor, famous men, and heads of their fathers' houses.
1 Chronicles 5:24


Sounds like a great group of guys doesn't it?
Men of valor.
Brave and courageous men.
Famous men.
Every person in the tribe knew about them.
Street recognition most definitely.
Heads of their fathers' houses.
The men in charge.
The men other men came to for advice and guidance.
The authority of that house.
The men with the power.

Who wouldn't want to be them?

And they were unfaithful to the God of their fathers, and played the harlot after the gods of the peoples of the land, whom God had destroyed before them.

1 Chronicles 5:25


I don't want to be them.
Their unfaithfulness led to captivity.
Not just for them but for their entire tribe.
When I find myself desiring the riches of this world (even within the church)- fame, position, money- whatever- this verse serves as a reminder as to what the main thing is. When I find myself looking at others, thinking how great they are or their life is, I need to remember that what I see is a first glance. I need to make sure I look deeper to see where their faithfulness lies. Not to judge them, but to be aware for myself in order to avoid becoming a captive with them. I need to, by the help of the Holy Spirit, strive to make sure that when people take a second look at me and my life, they see faithfulness as well, because I don't want to be responsible for leading them into captivity either.

NOTHING

Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.
Not the most wonderful thing that I could even imagine happening to me.
Not all my dreams and desires coming to fruition.
Not the thing I fear the most.
Not the thing I am even afraid to speak.
Nothing compares to the promise I have You.
No high point in my life is more glorious than Your promise.
No low point in my life can destroy that promise.
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.
No worries I have are greater than Your promise.
No plan of the enemy is greater than Your promise.
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

That we should be saved from our enemies

and from the hand of all who hate us,

to perform the mercy promised to our fathers,

and to remember His holy covenant,

the oath which he swore to our father Abraham:

to grant us that we,

being delivered from the hand of our enemies,

might serve Him without fear,

in holiness and righteousness

before Him all the days of our life.

Luke 1:71-75 (NKJV)

DOUBLE DOSE

I don't know how many of you read both blogs.
Well, besides my sisters and Q.
I was not for sure where to put this one, so you get it on both.
DO YOU REALLY?
Maybe totally just for me.
But knowing Him, I doubt it;)
Completely unrelated, can I just say that Judges finishes with a bang!
I have no doubt if they ever made an Old Testament movie straight from the text, an "R" rating would be an understatement. W...O...W.

I CAN'T CHOOSE...

for you. I can only choose for me.
I just finished up the book of Joshua today.
Joshua gives his final speech and tells them to choose for themselves.
He knew what he was going to choose.
The tribes, the children, the kiddos, had to choose for themselves.
That is so hard.
It must have been hard for him.
To recant all that God has delivered them from.
To remind them how they were brought out of the "house of bondage", and how every good thing the Lord had spoken over them came to pass.
Then to say, okay, you choose for yourself.
But we all come to that point, don't we?
Either as the one choosing or the one allowing someone else to choose.
Just like the children of Israel, there will come a day when we (and our kids and family) will have to choose for ourselves whom we will serve.
A day when we have to make our faith our own. When that relationship with Christ goes from the head knowledge we received from others to the heart knowledge we have gained on our own.
One day we will have to choose to pick a side of the fence and quit trying to live on foot in the kingdom and one foot in the world.
Don't think for one second by not choosing you aren't choosing.
By not choosing Christ, you are choosing death. Plain and simple.
Sadly, not all of our loved ones will choose Christ.
Not just family, but friends we care deeply about.
I can't choose for them.
I can choose to pray for them. I can choose to continue bring them before the throne of grace and intercede for them, but I can't make that choice for them.
Even for my own boys, there will be a day when they must choose for themselves.
In college I had a dream one night that I knew I had to choose.
(Note I am not one prone to dreams and visions so when I have one that I have remembered for 20+ years it is a big deal)
In my dream I was lost in a world torn up physically. The road I was on was cracked and buckled. It was dark. It appears I was under some kind of tram track. I was calling out for my mom and she was no where to be found. I never saw His face in the dream, just the glory of His robe and a cross. His sweet voice said " I am going to put you at the foot of my cross". I knew. I was on my own. My mom could not do it for me anymore. It is me and it is Him. We are the ones who have to finally work this thing out.
There have been times over the past 20 years where that dream has been recalled to me. Troubles have happened that have sent me to the foot of that cross.
It has been my choice to kneel or not.
No other could choose for me.
Like the children of Israel there have been times of rebellion.
Times of forgetfulness.
Times that led to bondage.
The good news is that there have also been times of redemption.
Times of rescue and restoration.
I can't choose for you and you can't choose for me.
But this one thing I know...
We Are All Chosen.

Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by man, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. Therefore it is also contained in Scripture, "Behold, I lay in Zion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious, and he who believes on Him shall by no means be put to shame."

1 Peter 2:4-6 (NKJV)

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

"and so it may not happen, when he hears the words of this curse, that he blesses himself in his heart, saying, 'I shall have peace, even though I will follow the dictates of my heart' - as though a drunkard could be included with the sober."
Deuteronomy 29:21 NKJV


First this is not a post about alcohol.
Not even going to touch on it.
It is going to be about our hearts.
Well, mine, anyway.

I shall have peace, even though I will follow the dictates of my heart.

According to my notes, that phrase "follow the dictates" can be translated to mean "walk in the stubbornness or imagination".
All I have to do is think back to high school or junior high (or perhaps last week) to think of a time when I followed the stubbornness or imaginations of my own heart.
I just know he is the boy for me.
I just know we are going to get married and live happily ever after.
It didn't matter what sound advice others gave me, in my heart, I envisioned a glorious romance culminating in a Cinderella wedding and happily ever after. Oddly enough, I envisioned this with more than one Prince Charming. Seems my heart was a bit of a "playa". You want to talk about stubbornness of heart...
nope I am going to try to hold onto this person or relationship or job because I know in my heart of hearts I need to....I need them.
My heart kept telling me to do this or that and many times it backfired. Peace it did not bring. Many times I made an idol out of something or someone because "my heart" told me so.
Here is a little fact about my heart.

It is "deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" (Jer. 17:9 NKJV)

My heart is fickle. When it feels loved, it loves back. When it is hurt, it pulls away. It guards itself viciously. It holds itself in high regard. It is self-seeking. It can be easily influenced. It can be pulled in many directions at the same time.
I think there is a reason Christ told us to love God with not only all out hearts but also our minds and our souls (Matt 22:37 NKJV). Our hearts will turn when we feel God has let us down. It is our minds that will speak the truth, our minds that will recall scripture to defend against the enemy. Our souls that know rock solid who we are in Christ and Who He is in us.
Yes, my heart has great capacity to love, but it can also have great capacity to hate. The other two keep it in check. Without the other two being lined up with God, my heart is on a self-destructive path, taking the rest of me down with it. I need all three (heart, mind and soul) working together serving the Lord.
Do I ever listen to my heart? Sure I do. However, I have to take what it says and compare it to what the Word of God says and what I know about God to be true. At times, I may have to take what it said and seek godly council.
Sometimes it is right on.
Sometimes it is broken as I allow the Holy Spirit to bring it in line with God.
I can't trust my heart.
I can trust the One who gave it to me.

FIGHT TO SUBMIT

I have talked about my observations about my self- discipline on both blogs. The thing about self- discipline is that it covers so many areas of my life. SO MANY. It has been made clear to me during this time at home that this one stronghold is affecting so much in my life. In my mind, self-discipline meant getting it perfect everyday, all day, all the time. Always making the right food choice, always making the right financial choice, always making the right spiritual choice. A constant battle to be, well, perfect for God. If I should make a mistake, then just chunk the whole thing out the window because I failed.
2 Timothy 1:7 is a foundational verse for me. It is often my go-to verse. My choice of weaponry against the evil one. But honestly, I mainly use it when anxiety and vain imaginations try to take over. Not so much when I am tempted to make a poor financial choice, or tempted to be unwise in my food choices, or lax in my exercise or bible study. I, you, have been given the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. Not just a stable mind, but a self controlled, self-disciplined mind. According to Galatians 5:22, self-control is a fruit of the very Holy Spirit that dwells in me and in you if you know the Lord Jesus as your Savior. This morning I was meditating on this as I started my day. This constant struggle within myself to get it right. To be a strict self-disciplinarian. As I was doing so , I felt the Holy Spirit say (synopsis),
"You are fighting against and fighting to get something that is a gift. I have given it to you. Just receive it. Stop striving to get it, to earn it, to do it. Just let me do it for you."
I know rocket science right. Stuff I already knew. In the heat of battle though, sometimes, I tend to forget what I already know and just start fighting. Anyone and everyone.
The thing I felt this morning was stop fighting to get it right and start fighting to submit. I know... I know. We Christians should do that already, and in many areas we already do. But tell me I am not the only one who has a few areas she keeps fighting in. If I am, well, yeah for me for the Lord making progress on me.
Self- discipline is a gift, a fruit. Yes it has to be nurtured. It has to fed the Word of God and watered with the Living Water, but it will grow. It will take time to grow, much like fruit. Can't plant a watermelon seed on day and have watermelons to eat the next. But in due season it will produce and we will reap.
It is not a fight to align my flesh up with what God desires.
It is a submission of that flesh to the Lord God Most High and allowing Him to align it.
Do I play an pivotal role? Absolutely.
It is my choice to submit.
It is my choice to heed the nudging of the Spirit.
It is my choice to educate myself so I can make wiser choices.
They are all my choices.
I know, Rhonda is growing up.
Aren't we all so proud.
She is getting some maturity on her.
I told my sister the other day I was getting upset at myself thinking when will I ever have this Christian walk down.
Truth is - I won't.
I won't ever on this planet walk perfectly, do it all right, never stumble or fall.
I will, however, walk stronger.
I will get up faster when I fall.
I will walk this out with the One who deliberately walks with me.
(you guys just get to come along for the show...woohoo for you!)

MONEY TALKS

"So it shall be when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant- when you have eaten and are full- then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. "

Deuteronomy 6:10-12 (NKJV)

I talked about my anxiety over re- entering the work force in some form or fashion back here. Lots of reasons why, but they seem to hinge on one factor - money. I'll be honest - money makes me lazy. As someone who is not a fan of cooking, money sure makes it nice to grab something to go. Meal planning? Why when I can fly by the seat of my pants and just pick up random ingredients from the store. Money makes me not value my "stuff" at times. Why should I because if it breaks I can just go get a new one. Money provides gas in my vehicle that allows me to run around town and go where I want, as many times as I want.
Over the past 7 months, the money has been removed. The Lord has provided, but the surplus has been gone. Come to find out... the problem wasn't with the money but with how I thought about and dealt with the money.
Self-discipline has been a key thing over the last few months, and I have had to work on it out of necessity. I have had to plan meals. I have had to plan my trips to town. I have had to make sure things last. It has been an eye opening experience.
What I don't want to do is exactly what the Israelites did. When my tummy is full and my house is full of good things, I don't want to forget the One who brought us here. I don't want to go back to the selfish way I was handling the provision He gave us. I don't want to be a poor steward again of the resources He provides.
I know myself.
I know how quickly I fall back into old thought patterns.
I know how I tend to forget when things are good.
But I know Him, too.
I know how He has used this time to rewire my head.
I know His Holy Spirit dwells within me and is a reminder of things taught.
He is a faithful teacher.
He is a loving teacher.
He is a good teacher.

Best of all, I know He has it all in His hands.
Going back to work or staying home, shortfall or surplus, He has it all.