THAT DREADED "S" WORD

1 Peter chapter 3 contains the "s" word that makes many a woman cringe. For some it ranks right up there with the other "s" word for which I would wash my kids' mouth out with soap if they said it. To be honest, it made me cringe for many years as well; before and after marriage.

Submissive.

Some of you just got chills.

Don't be afraid of the word submissive. Remember, my blog, my point of view. It is actually intended for our good. Since I believe the Bible is inspired by God, then I must believe that if He let it in there, it is for a reason and that reason is good. The problem with the word submissive has been mankind (including women). Submissive has been twisted into complacent obedience at all costs. Many women have been browbeaten by men and doctrine that silences them as a marriage partner. Other women have been riled up by women to demand their rights and submit to no one. Both, in my opinion, completely unbiblical. Now remember, I am a right fighter. Submission is not easy for me, AT ALL. My parents raised my sisters and I to be very independent, self-sufficient, know what is right and fight for it, kinda gals. All great qualities, but ones that can, at times, makes marriage a wee bit tricky. None of us want to watch someone we love make a mistake, and we really don't like it when that mistake costs us. However, we sure do seem to like reaping the benefits of their decision when it blesses us. Those are the two sides of the submission coin. For better or worse. Good times and bad. Brilliant decisions and bonehead ones. I have found for me it is real easy to sit back and judge what my husband has done. To celebrate or complain. I have responded like my husband did not have the best interest of my family at heart. Notice I said my. At times I forget it is his family, too. His kids as well. His wife. His God-given burden to bear. I don't know much, or anything, about the psyche of a man. I know about my own psyche. I know for some odd reason I am hard-wired to clean house and nurture my kids. Honestly, I feel better after I have cleaned my house. Shocking I know. Does it make my husband's foot servant. Nope. It is how God has designed me. I also know my husband is hard-wired to work and provide for our family. He is not wired to clean house. God has placed the provision burden in his heart. Whether in be working or in his hunting, he wants to provide. Because God has placed that burden upon him, the responsibility is his as well. I am not negated of responsibility in providing for our family, I am just not it's chief bearer. I am the support team. It is how the Lord designed it. Me submitting to my husband does not mean I take over. It does not mean I demand my way or the highway. It does not mean I sit in silence. It means that I speak my peace in a timely and prayerfully considered manner, and then I zip it. I don't nag. I don't say I told you so with a prideful taunt. I pray. I pray and I pray some more. My flesh may scream;my mouth stays shut until the Lord prompts me to speak. Waiting is the hard part. Zipping that lip is the hard part. It is why we need the Holy Spirit, because our flesh does not die easily. It does not die easily for me and it sure ain't going down with out a fight for someone else. Jesus Christ is the only way. He must be paramount in my life first, and then in my marriage.

It is a struggle ladies, most definitely. The Christian walk is in many areas. Why else would Paul lament doing what he doesn't want to and not doing what he wanted to in Romans 7 verses 17-19. It is hard for all of us. So be encouraged if the dreaded "s" word strikes fear into your heart. Be encouraged if it strikes resentment. Many Christian women have been there. Many have had very valid reasons for feeling both emotions. They have experienced hurts of the Lord God Himself can heal. Let Him.
Now, please don't misunderstand and let me be very clear. Submission does not give your husband full reign to abuse you or your children, physically or emotionally, or to force into illegal or immoral activities. If that is your situation, get help now! Get you and your kids out and seek legal and Christian help. But just because his decision ticks you off, yeah, not reason enough to leave. Sorry. Same way he has got no grounds just because you made him mad. Covenant is a little more binding that that.
Don't be alarmed if you are tested in this area soon. It is the way it works. I am expecting it for myself. Be alert and prayed up. Recognize it, submit to God, resist the devil's prompting to respond in the flesh, and the devil must flee (James 4:7). Pick your chin up and keep on walking. You are not walking alone.